Ian, Ian, can I start with a joke today? If you must. Lovely. Okay, good. Here we go. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, right, are we ready?

Yeah.

So, there's a speed cop on the motorway. It is Wednesday after all. It is topical. Right. Are we ready?

So there's a speed cop on the motorway.

And all of a sudden this car comes speeding up the fast lane.

And so the coppers stops the car, looks into the car.

And in the back seat, there's a great big penguin.

And he says to the driver, what the hell do you think you're doing and the driver says look i've just found this penguin and we're

going to the zoo i'm taking him to the zoo so uh the traffic cop says all right okay fair enough okay

off you go off you go anyway next day same traffic cop, same place, same car comes speeding down the

fast lane. So the copper thinks, what the hell's going on here? Stops the car, looks in, same enormous

penguin is in the back seat. And he says to the driver, what the hell are you doing? I thought

you said you were taking him to the zoo. And the driver says, yeah, I did take him to the zoo.

We had such a good time that I'm taking

into a theme park today. Don't give up the day job, love. You're laughing. You're laughing. Do you know,

for one awful moment there, I thought you were going to tell a racist joke.

What?

Why would you think that? Well, given penguins are black and white, I thought there's going to be a racial tone to this.

We might have to start again.

That's your bloody sensitivity, mate.

Of course, he wasn't able to take the penguin to school, though, was he? Because, you know.

Oh. Yeah, but the Labour Party's all over the place on this. First of all, they don't want people to go back to school. Now they do. Typical.

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