183 - Dear SodaStream: Forgive Me (TELL ALL)

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

PodcastOne

Comedy

5.0 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2026

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of Camp Counselors, we’re taking flight with absolutely no flight plan. Spicy requests, smooth move tea, SodaStreams, musical greeting cards, sun lounger lawsuits, hootie AND his blowfish.

This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.

Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Sponsors:

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Works Cited:

➜ Shkurtaj, Tereza. “Woman, 24, Tracks Down 72-Year-Old Man Who Used to Have Her Phone Number After She Receives Cryptic Text from Stranger (Exclusive).” People, 2 May 2026.

➜ Thomas, Garvin. “San Francisco Woman Gets Photographer’s Old Number. It Changes Both Their Lives.” NBC Bay Area, 3 May 2026.

➜ “German Tourist Wins Payout after Losing 6am Race for Sun Lounger.” The Times, 6 May 2026.

Camp Songs:

Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape

Social Media:

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, happy campers.
0:02.4	Welcome back to Camp Shady Burge.
0:04.9	It is week 183 here at camp.
0:09.8	And it might be morning wherever you're listening.
0:12.6	That's what the algorithm and the analytics tell us.
0:15.5	But I am drinking a sound cruiser.
0:17.3	This isn't sponsored because it's my Friday night at 6 p.m.
0:20.5	What are we doing? The podcast. What do I want to be doing? Eating a Jimmy Junkah. Is that what you want for dinner, Mexican food? We said that we're going to record this and then we're going to go out to dinner after. And I've been like weighing my options. But like this is so TMI, but I don't even care. I have been so bloatisha lately, like blimp status. My GI track inflamed. I think because I'm drinking too much lately. I drink like four or five days in a row. Why quit now? Well, no, I took two days off and it wasn't helping,
0:54.4	so I'm back on the wagon.
1:11.2	I'm like, okay, I'm not going to be sober and bloated. Like, what's the point? Summer has started. No, summer has started. But I was, I'm nervous to eat that because yesterday we had Thai food. And I put in the memo notes for DoorDash. I said, hey, this is like a delicious meal.
1:12.8	I enjoy it every single time.
1:11.2	However, in the memo notes for DoorDash. I said, hey, this is like a delicious meal.
1:12.8	I enjoy it every single time.
1:16.1	However, in the episode description of the meal,
1:21.2	in the description of the meal, which is called what?
1:22.6	Notes?
1:24.5	Any notes about your food?
1:26.2	No, what's the food that I get called?
1:28.3	It's tell you guys, stop. What do you No, what's the food that I get called? It's tie, you guys. Stop.
1:29.3	Um, what do you got? It's, I get... Are those glass noodles of what I'm eating or no? No, they're not. Okay, I'm making things up. What kind of noodles are, though? That's pat-tie. What are the kind of noodles am I eating? Pad Thai. Really? Glass noodles are like circular.
1:43.1	Okay, so I'm eating pat-tie noodles, but it's not pat-tie.
1:45.9	It's got a bunch of vegetables in it and protein. Really? Yeah, glass noodles are like circular. Okay, so I'm being pat-tie noodles, but it's not pat-tie.
	...

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