Listen closely and hear my tale of a grand celebration that's set to unveil at Edinburgh Castle,

a site to behold, returning this August with stories so bold, 800 performers from

Bár and Wáid, the past and the future, side by side.

Mark your calendars and get ready to see a feast for the senses to set your heart beat.

Stories from the Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo, tales to transport you.

Tickets available at edentatoo.co.uk

Welcome to this bonus episode of We Have Ways of Making You Talk.

Here's James Holland pretending he's a British soldier in Normandy trying to clear out a German defensive position.

No sniggering at the back.

So I'm now approaching the Second World War trench,

and you might be thinking trenches weren't they all about the First World War,

but actually they're also about the Second World War II.

And the scenario here at the Chort Valley History Festival is that...

Basically, this is a German gun position.

You know, think, break all manner, think, the day of days, episode two of Banda Brothers and Damien Lewis and Cove Dick Winter.

Sorry, I should say, attacking those four gun positions.

And you remember there were trenches and sort of guns, scrapes and so on.

Okay, well, this is a scenario here.

So this is a captured German gun battery with connecting trenches.

And the British tombs have captured it.

And it's somewhere near coal, you know, the main city in Normandy,

and they're waiting for the 12th SS Panzer Division,

...