176. The Pope Walked Onto His Balcony

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 11 February 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Who’s short and spherical with a jaunty hat? Beau Basco! Who sees every clue with a lazy eye? Beau Basco! And who is facing the biggest who-dun-it of their career? Uhhhhh BEAU F. BASCO. The F stands for “Fuck.” NTWICS Vol 1: https://open.spotify.com/album/4Oithuobv9nJKIrXAyd2FX?si=Pq1urioWQkW1Jt9tl2iUJQ DEAD BIRD SONGS: https://www.patreon.com/collection/385604 PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hallelujah,
0:02.0	Alleluia,
0:04.0	Alleluia
0:06.0	Alleylor
0:09.0	The pope walked on to his balcony.
0:15.0	The crowd cheered until he waved them down.
0:20.0	His face scrunched like he had sucked a big lemon.
0:27.0	At 9.15 last night, on the 22nd of May,
0:33.8	God died of natural causes.
0:42.3	Screams echoed outside the Vatican. He passed peacefully in his sleep.
0:46.3	He did not struggle or feel pain.
0:49.3	He was infinity years old.
0:53.3	Then the Pope walked back inside, despite the pleading of the crowd.
1:02.0	An advisor knocked on the door of the Pope's private quarters.
1:09.0	He ignored the no trespassing sign and entered.
1:14.3	The Pope lay on his bed, making raspberry jetliner sounds as he zoomed a crucifix through the air.
1:25.3	Mr. Pope, everyone wants to talk to you.
1:30.9	Not now.
1:32.3	I just lost my father.
1:35.9	The advisor put his hand on the Pope's shoulder.
1:41.3	Sir, we all did.
1:48.0	The Pope cocked his head. He hadn't considered this.
	...

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