Okay, folks, a very good morning to you, and welcome to the latest episode, the latest chapter, the latest exciting adventures of life on planet Porky.

It is, of course, myself, the portmister, with the rock chick writer extraordinaire, Ms. Leslie Ann Jones. Leslie Ann,

how are you this fine day? Absolutely kicking along here, Mike. I'm really excited for some reason.

I don't know why. I think it must be the weather. I'm feeling so much more upbeat than I have done in

recent weeks. Oh, why is that then? I don't know. That's seven might be the weather. I think the

pollen count is very high because I'm feeling a bit throaty the last couple of days. Are you?

Funny you should say that. I do as well. I don't know why. Normally when I feel my, when myself,

look, very, very occasionally, as people know, I have a cigarette, very occasionally, you know, in times of stress or something like that.

And I only ever smoke two or three.

By the way, a packet of cigarettes cost 15 pounds these days.

Did you know that?

What?

Fifteen pounds.

I've never smoked. I've only ever had wet vices.

So I, you know, I've never understood what cigarettes cost of. Yeah. But I remember my father,

who was quite a heavy smoker for some years, when he used to travel abroad, always used to come

back with those packs of, you know, 200 packets of cigarettes. Yeah. Yeah, well, maybe duty three.

Yeah. Duty three in those days, yeah. My dad only ever smoked sort of about a third of each cigarette.

So just the top bit.

And then he would stub them out in these ash trays, massive great sort of dustbin lid ash trays on his desk at home.

Yeah, that's how he got through the writing process.

Yeah, that's right.

...