175 SelfWork: How To Avoid Self-Sabotage In Relationships
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 10 April 2020
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you sabotage relationships that have potential? Are you risk averse? Do you commit too quickly or are you passively going along with the relationship continuing? Today we're talking about several ways you can sabotage a relationship's potential or you can end in a relationship that's simply not healthy. As this podcast is being recorded when so many of us are staying home with family, we’re enjoying the strengths of the relationships we’ve built – but also perhaps bearing up under the brunt of ones that aren’t what we’d hoped they would be. Or you're home alone, wondering why certain relationships "never worked."
The listener email today is one that is very timely – and we’re going to spend a good bit of time on it -- what you’re seeing in your relationships on lockdown. It's from one woman who isn’t able to escape how there’s no sense of partnership or even enjoyment of being together.. and she's therefore lonelier than ever. She wrote me back after this episode was recorded and told me that the podcast on apathy was actually very helpful to her.
Important Links:
Episode 069 on the victim/savior relationship.
Raquel Peel's TED Talk on anticipating failure in relationships
My own podcast on combatting apathy in relationships
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:30.0 | Hello and welcome to self-work. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist from |
| 0:35.0 | Fayeville, Arkansas, and I started self-work about three and a half years ago because I wanted to |
| 0:39.4 | reach people who might already be enjoying a therapeutic relationship |
| 0:43.3 | or know a lot about psychology or emotional functioning. |
| 0:46.8 | But I also wanted to reach people who might have just |
| 0:49.3 | been initially diagnosed or might never |
| 0:52.3 | darken the door of a therapist, but we're interested enough to |
| 0:56.7 | tune in. |
| 0:58.2 | As this podcast is being recorded when so many of us are staying home with family. |
| 1:03.0 | We're enjoying the strengths of the relationships we've built, |
| 1:05.7 | but also perhaps bearing up under the brunt of ones |
| 1:08.5 | that aren't what we'd hope they would be. |
| 1:10.9 | Or maybe you're home alone and wishing you had someone to be in relationship with. |
| 1:15.0 | Today we're going to be talking about sabotaging a relationship and I'll give you |
| 1:20.6 | five different ways that can happen and then of course as always what |
| 1:25.4 | you can do about it and the listener email today is one that's very timely and |
| 1:30.2 | we're going to spend a good bit of time on it. It's about what you're seeing in your |
| 1:35.2 | relationships now that you're on lockdown or shelter in place or whatever you're calling |
... |
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