174: Joseph and Mary

God Awful Movies

Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

Comedy, Leisure, Tv & Film

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 18 December 2018

⏱️ 105 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week we team up for an atheist review of "Joseph and Mary", the story of a set decorator racking up preferred customer points at a Bed Bath and Beyond and saying "Trust me, this is what ancient Israel looked like" until everyone believed them. --- Get tickets to our live show in Dallas here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-dallas-tickets-53204012634 --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/godawful Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://soundcloud.com/morgandclarke

Transcript

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0:00.0	He's just like, oh, are they coming? Are they coming? I want to be looking at the full moon. That's how you window when they get here.
0:10.0	They're already here. What can they hear me saying?
0:13.2	Mother fuck. Alright, get out. You're the worst.
0:16.4	I want you servants pick up his throne and slowly turn it around. Oh, hello.
0:21.2	He's trying to he's trying to scoot it against the sun.
0:26.2	Err, err, err. Pick it up. Pick it up. Lift it from all that you evenly lift it. God damn it.
0:33.2	You scratch the sound.
0:35.2	God awful movie.
0:42.2	Welcome back to the GAMcast. We're each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because otherwise the show description would be deceptive. I'm your host Noah Luciens and sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and right heath. Welcome back.
1:02.2	Thanks Noah.
1:03.2	So you know what's a great religion and a great store. What's that Judaism and pottery barn?
1:13.2	3000 years of beautiful tradition from pottery barns.
1:19.2	And sitting 900 miles to my northeast is my bad friend Eli Bosnick Eli. How are you this fine afternoon sir?
1:25.2	I'm amazing. Noah, it's nice to see this movie got its Christmas shopping done and it's set design done at the same time.
1:33.2	Trying to be repetitive here. If you told me that like this started out as a commercial for the home shopping network and then just went out of control and ended up a whole movie.
1:44.2	Okay. Okay. Somebody got that mailer from bedbath and beyond and they were like I have financed a movie.
1:51.2	40% off. If there is a hell, this is where Mark from the how to heretic is going. He just watches this movie in a perfectly comfortable room for all time and is forced to point and scream at the various modernizations.
2:11.2	All right. So tell us heath. What the fuck are we talking about? What will we break it down today?
2:16.2	We watched Joseph and Mary. It's it's supposed to be the origin story of Jesus.
2:26.2	Yeah. But they clearly ran out of money while they were setting that up. So all we got was the origin story of an origin story that we never saw.
2:37.2	Right. We just watched the prequel to an origin story. We watched Jesus episode zero. It was ridiculous. Yeah. It's based. You know how Marvel movies will release that weird like free comic book that catches you up in between the different movies in their cinematic universe.
2:55.2	It's that. But with the Bible. Yeah. There we go. And do you lie? How bad was this movie? Well, if you love the Christmas story,
	...

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