Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show. My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host. Hi, friends. Welcome back. It's Friday, which means new episode time, which means we're starting a new series. Between now and the end of the year, welcome to the clarity series, dating with intention. I'm super stoked. Today is episode one and we're going to talk about

are you actually processing or are you just ruminating and replaying the same shit over and over again because we are going to bring you through a trajectory. If you want to date with intention and clarity, then we got to do some stuff before we get there, which means process and understand what's happening, let go with some shit and start to rebuild and focus on the intentionality that we're showing up with. So I'm really excited. Guys, don't forget, please listen to the episodes. I am really shocked sometimes when we do series that like one of the five episodes will crush it and then others won't. Please, please, listen to the entirety. There is a reason that I create a series. There's a reason that there's a flow. Even if you tell me I'm not in a relationship yet, you can learn something from these episodes. So guys, as always, don't forget rate and review. Share it with a friend. Leave a comment no matter what episode you hear. I cannot tell you how that helps with us growing and getting the algorithm to love mama again. And please just know, I am so fucking grateful to have you here. I am so grateful that all of you are in this community with me. And you know what? Without further ado, let's get right the fuck on into it, shall we? So let me continue my thoughts. I'm really fucking grateful for all of you. But like I said, every episode, I will tell you, I am learning more and more about myself and learning to ask for my needs. And, you know, I'm learning even too, like, I have to process things because I can get stuck in the rumination spiral. We are human and all of our brains work very similarly. And that's also kind of, I mean, obviously, if you're neurodivergent, you might have different divergences than the other, the average folk like me, right? Like I have ADHD. So my brain does work differently than other people. But I'm just really grateful for the community that we've built. I'm really grateful to have you guys here because this is how we keep it going. This is how the only reason I'm here is because of you guys. If you guys stopped listening, I wouldn't have a show. So that's why I ask you and I sometimes will beg for your support and help and love because it's what I need to keep being here for you. And guys, as always, if you want ad free, you can subscribe. It's four bucks a month. Instead of complaining that there are ads, which happens because it's a free resource, you guys can subscribe or you don't have to listen. That's also okay too. I want to empower everybody here to do what feels right for them. and that's inclusive of knowing if you want to work one-on-one, you want to join a course, like all of these things are here.

And if not, that's inclusive of knowing if you want to

work one-on-one, you want to join a course. Like all of these things are here. And if not, that's okay too. So let's give some updates. It's been a little rough for me. I'm not going to lie. Not like there's anything wrong or bad or anything detrimental. But you know me. I'm always like, I want to update you guys a little bit and I think part of part of doing this work and healing and growing

is learning to detach from the outcome of things. And I have really, really worked through that because whether it be in relationships, dating, family, career, the amount of times I'm like, when this happens, it'll be great. Or this person will help me do this. And then I'll achieve my goal. And then it doesn't happen. And then what happens is you're devastated, you're disappointed. And I will be 100% real and candid with you guys. Like me and tech guy had a really big talk the other day and we were trying to figure out if we're going to continue and if this relationship makes sense for us. We're still together. Don't worry. Everything's good. But I'm tired of having to

pretend of like, everything's amazing and great. It's like, that's not life. What's part of life is that, like, we have really hard conversations. What's part of life is knowing that, like, things that I need and things that he need might not match. What's really real is knowing that we're trying and we're evolving and we're growing and we're making a decision from a place of empowerment as two adults.

And it's been, it's been hard. It's been interesting and a struggle and it's been all this amalgamation of feelings and emotions. But you know what I keep coming back to that no matter

what I'm going to be okay. Like anytime I talk to my mom or my friends, I'm like, hey, I don't

know what's going to happen. I want the best. I want to be with my partner and all of those things, but I get really triggered by the inconsistency and sometimes he's in, sometimes he's out, and that's a really big struggle for me. And he's doing the work that he needs to do and I'm doing the shit that I need to do. And the reason I wanted to share that is like, I could sit here and pretend everything's amazing and fine, but then you're going to feel even more disconnected. because that was really part of my journey was I constantly felt there's something wrong with me.

Everybody else has it figured out but me, so it must be me. And I'm here to let you know, it's not. That maybe you just have some shit that we gotta work through, and we're gonna talk about that today. Because today's episode, the reason I chose, I chose the structure, like I spent about, I spent like six to eight hours per episode. I like, I go through and I figure it out and I go to the studies and I build out this entire, this landscape so that you guys feel like there's something to it, right? There's a beginning, a middle and an end. And it's really important, especially this series, like to build on, or even the last series that we did, the self-worth series, every episode built

onto the other. So please engage in it, listen to it. Let me know what you think. If you want, different, like, I'm here, but it's only, this, this podcast is going to only be in the community as only as engaged as if we have you guys part of it. And so for me, like, I'll be honest, I used to ruminate.

Ruminating was by baseline.

Like, how much can I stay on the same thing?

Because for me, like, I'll be honest, I used to ruminate. Ruminating was by baseline. Like, how much can I stay on the same thing? Because for me, it was easier than using my proof of cortex, right? Like, we've gone over that, that it takes 10 times almost to about 10x the amount of time for that part of your brain to switch on so that you could be a little bit more present and start to challenge your thoughts and be in the moment and things like that. And so when we're not in that space and we're ruminating, what we're actually doing is we're just rehearsing the pain over and over and over again because there is a difference between processing your motions, which actually moves you forward and ruminating, which keeps you stuck in a mental prison essentially of your own design. And I know that you might be

looking at this being like, Sabrina, I don't want this. None of this is malice and none of this is

oftentimes a choice. This is how our brain work. And the reason I wanted to do this is because

we're nearing the end of the year, which is fucking insane. I feel like just yesterday, just yesterday,

Ryan and I were going to L.A. and found out the fires happened. And all of a sudden, we were like, wait, what is going on? Just yesterday, it feels like that. And here we are today being like, it's the end of the year. And so I want to ask you this. What are you still replaying from 2025 or honestly for 2020 for that fucking matter? What is happening and what are we staying stuck on? Some of you guys had written in. Again, if you want to write in, it's the Sabrina Zohar show on Instagram. Feel free. I put on question boxes like two or three times a week just to know what you guys want in an episode. So follow along. And the questions you had asked are, been broken up for eight months, and I still dream about him. And when I wake up, I get sad. Why? I'm in no contact for three plus months and I can't stop thinking about her.

Why do I keep trying to find where it all went wrong after it ended?

And another one that I saw so many times, how do you know if you're making progress with

spiraling or ruminating? These are really real questions and these are what you guys are going

through. And the thing that nobody really tells you about the like processing your feelings is that most of us aren't actually doing it right or even

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