166 - Becoming Gummy Nyquil Advocates
Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
PodcastOne
5.0 • 3.1K Ratings
🗓️ 21 January 2026
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is all over the place. Jonathan may have witnessed a crime (and is both willing and able to be subpoenaed), while Zachariah is convinced that his new snatched bod has put him on every kidnapper’s radar. PLUS there is a Thai fortune-teller drama unfolding (tea) and Illinois is being lame by rejected vanity license plates (booo!) There is almond milk slander, gummy vitamin love, and obvi so much more.
This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.
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Sources:
➜ Sarkar, Alisha Rahaman. “Fortune-teller accused of stealing client’s phone to make ‘bad luck’ prophecy come true.” The Independent, 2 Jan. 2026.
➜ Miller, Violet. “‘IBPOOPN’ and ‘ICUP’ among 550 license plates rejected by Illinois secretary of state.” WBEZ Chicago, 22 Dec. 2025.
Camp Songs:
Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
Social Media:
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Have you ever canoed down a babbling brook? |
| 0:03.0 | No, but I have cried at a Taco Bell. |
| 0:06.0 | Oh, same thing. |
| 0:08.0 | Listen up, campers. |
| 0:09.0 | It's time to buckle up, pitch a tent, and take a hike. |
| 0:11.0 | Because camp counselors is a variety show. |
| 0:13.0 | So prepare for a good old-fashioned kumbaya, weird news, |
| 0:17.0 | hot gossip, and scary stories around the campfire. |
| 0:20.0 | So spooky. |
| 0:21.7 | Is this podcast even about camping? |
| 0:23.4 | No, but it is camp. |
| 0:25.7 | This is camp counselors. |
| 0:30.6 | Hey, happy campers. |
| 0:32.7 | Welcome back to Camp Shady Birch. |
| 0:35.0 | It is week 166 here at Cam. And we are so happy to be here. |
| 0:43.8 | Really quickly, I'm looking over at my Stanley. I know. I don't care about lead. And so this is a |
| 0:52.7 | question for the audience, a question for the culture. This is a little shocking. And I'm just like, come on and say it. The top of my Stanley, I'm seeing a little grime. Ew, let me see. No, no. Fine. Let me see. You can't bring it up and then say no. Babe. No, what is that? |
| 1:11.6 | Were you in a workshop? No, it's like sawdust. What is that? It's, I will say this. I will say this. Stanley is sealed, but the top of it has some sort of residue. That's not normal. That's like growth. That's not. No, we're going to throw it in the dishwasher because we have to dishwash. |
| 1:28.6 | They're not going to, they believe you because they think that you're not a liar, but you're the biggest liar right now. You brought it up. You said there's a growth. There's no growth on that. That's some sort of residue from some, I was cooking a lot. And you know that. Okay. So maybe that was some parmesan cheese. Yeah, could be parmesan cheese, which is an act of culture. |
| 1:47.3 | Okay, okay. |
| 1:48.2 | I just want to know, question for the team, question for the campus. |
| 1:50.9 | How often are we cleaning our sandlies? |
... |
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