Hi and welcome back to the savvy psychologist I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every

week I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

Good listeners attract people like an ice cream truck attracts kids.

Why? Well, good listeners offer goodies even better than

fud bicycles if that's even possible. Validation, affirmation, and trust. And in addition, skilled listening is one half of good communication,

which is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

But being a good listener goes way beyond just not interrupting or nodding your head until it's your turn to talk.

So this week, here are five ways to make your conversation partner feel like you fully tuned in to their radio station.

Listening skill number one is create safety.

Making your conversation partner feel safe starts with two things, an open mind and keeping judgment to yourself.

Just as immersing yourself in a novel requires suspension of disbelief,

immersing yourself in listening requires suspension of unsolicited opinions or advice.

And while judgments may pop into your head, you're human after all, set them to the

side while you try listening skill number two. Ask questions.

think like a question.

When your brain is peaked, ask questions.

Think like a journalist and ask what?

When? Where? Why? How? Ask for example. journalist and ask what, when, where, why, how?

Ask for examples.

Ask for details.

Following your natural curiosity by asking questions, not only demonstrates your listening and interested, but almost always yields an intriguing

story. For instance, this past week, the very first sentence a new client said to me was,

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