Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar Show. My name is Sabrina Zohar and I am your host. Welcome back, Babes, happy Friday. I'm excited. It's our guest episode of the month. And we have Sabrina Bendori here. And we're talking about a hot subject that you guys ask a lot about detachment. How to actually detach what does that look like? And we give you a different perspective, some different tools. And I'm just really excited. So guys, as always, if you need anything, everything will be at Sabrina Zohar.com or the link in the show notes. If you want to work one-on-one, ask a question, whatever you guys need. And as always, thank you guys. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for rating and reviewing the show. Please don't forget, subscribe, all the fun stuff. And thank you guys for being here. So without further ado, let's get right on into it,

shall we? Sabrina. Sabrina. Welcome. Sabrina Squared. We did it. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. I can't even tell you how much I've been looking forward to this. I'm so stoked. I know that when you reached out originally that your book was coming at, I was so excited because I'm like, wait a minute, you were like one of my OG TikTok.

Like, I used to follow and I loved it. And I was like, you gave me inspiration of like, oh, I can do this. So. Really? Yeah. Thank you for that. Oh, my God. That means. Much to me. Yeah. I was just seeing other people have different thought processes and realizing like you're not alone in thinking differently,

which actually feels really welcoming in a weird way. Yes. And you know, people have different thought processes and realizing like you're not alone in thinking differently,

which actually feels really welcoming in a weird way. Yes. And you know what? I really got to know you because a lot of my clients were like, the only people I listened to are you and other Sabrina. It was like, who's other Sabrina? I looked into you. I'm like, okay, like this makes sense. Yeah, I get it. This is the style that you like. From New York to California. Here we are. So before we dive in, because today we're going to talk about the number one thing that everybody asks about is like, how do I detach? Am I doing it wrong? How do I not care? Right? All of those things. But before we get into that, because you've got your amazing new book that's out, could you tell us a little bit more about you, your journey? and I think also you were a former hot mess like the rest of us, if I read correctly in the book.

So I'd love you to share your story a bit before we get started. Sure. Well, I've always been fascinated by people and understanding human nature. And it's probably because people were so horrible to me that I thought if I could understand them, then maybe I could have some control. So I double majored in English in psychology in college, and I was always like,

I want to write about people. But the greatest lesson I learned in college was when I dated a

complete narcissist who destroyed me and sent me into the depths of my disorganized attachment

style. And anyone who's been through this knows, it was the most unbelievably, profoundly gutting experience of my life.

And I felt so alone. This is a long time ago. There was no TikTok. There really wasn't social media.

I think we just had Facebook. And that feeling, I was like, I wish there was something that just

made me feel less alone in this. And I had this, like, vision that I would write about relationships. I was very inspired by Carrie from Sex and the City as well. So anyway, two years go by and this guy, because I didn't know how to process anything in a healthy way, he was still living in my head and I had completely emotionally shut down. I wasn't detached. I was dissociated. I was full on dissociated, but then certain people would trigger me and I would go into this super,

super anxious mode. But he was still in my head. So I decided to reach out to him. I was like,

I can't exercise this ghost from my life. So I reach out to him. And because I was so dissociated and

avoidant, guys were very responsive to that. Not because it was healthy or a good thing at all. It

wasn't. But because I had that aloof, mysterious thing, like, it would draw in a lot of male

attention. And guys would be very much, like, almost like, obsessed with me. But then, like,

they would get to know me and I was such a hot mess that that would be the end of it. But anyway,

I wanted to make him realize what he had lost. So I'm telling him about all the guys that are chasing after me and all the guys that want, I was 22 at the time. So don't judge. But anyway, he was like, he didn't want to get back together. But he was like, you should write about this. You should teach women how to do this. And so we went into business together.

Not so smart. He decided to be like the tech. He was my tech guy. He was your tech. I was about to say, I'm like, this sounds awful familiar. Yeah. So he was going to build the website and I was going to write about it. Now, before that, I had another experience where I was ghosted by this guy. We'd been dating. He'd disappeared.

Like, again, in the beginning, he was totally infatuated by me. I was, like, so aloof and mysterious. But then once I dropped and I switched into that anxious mode from my avoided mode, that's when everything went downhill for me. Anyway, he ghosted me, and then he called me by accident thinking that I was the new girl that he had started seeing. Yes. And I had a male roommate at the time who was subletting my roommate's room.

Hmm. called me by accident thinking that I was the new girl that he had started seeing. Yes. And I had a male roommate at the time. He was subletting my roommate's room. And he was like, okay, Sabrina, come on. Like, it was Friday night. They walk in. They're like, come on, Sabrina. Like, we're going out. Let's go have fun. I was like, you're not going to believe what just happened to me. Like, I just got dumped in the most insane way possible. And him and some of his friends were like, sit down, tell us what happened.

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