161: Stop Being THE GOOD GIRL — Inconvenient Women Actually Win (Here’s How)
BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko
Margarita Nazarenko
4.9 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 19 April 2026
⏱️ 25 minutes
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Summary
Join The Unbothered 3-Day Intensive: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/joinlive?podcast=Episode%20161
If you were taught that being easy, agreeable, and low maintenance made you more loveable but you're starting to realise it's actually made you invisible — this episode is for you.
In this episode I walk you through the ten shifts that take you from the good girl who gets overlooked and taken for granted, to the inconvenient woman who is magnetic, grounded, and impossible to replace.
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Topics this episode covers: how to stop being a good girl, good girl syndrome, how to stop people pleasing, how to stop being agreeable, how to have standards in relationships, how to stop shrinking yourself, how to stop over explaining yourself, how to say no without guilt, how to set boundaries, how to stop apologising for your needs, how to stop being available all the time, how to become the inconvenient woman, inconvenient woman, how to stop being easy to have, what makes a woman magnetic, feminine energy in relationships, how to stop managing other people's emotions, how to let people be uncomfortable, how to develop an opinion, how to stop performing, how to stop being invisible in relationships, how to be chosen for the right reasons, how to stop over giving in relationships, how to stop abandoning yourself, self abandonment, how to build self worth, how to stop seeking approval, approval seeking, how to attract a high quality man, high value woman, how to stop rearranging your life for a man, how to have a life of your own, feminine confidence, how to be unbothered, unbothered woman, how to stop being a pushover, how to stop being taken for granted, how to stop performing to be liked, authentic self, how to choose yourself, personal development for women, mindset shift for women, identity transformation, feminine energy 2026, relationship advice for women 2026.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We're back with the unhinged style videos, but in the house with good sound. So we're getting best of both worlds. Oh my God. Thank you, Margarita. No problem. Say less. |
| 0:17.5 | And on today's episode, we're going to talk about how the myth of being convenient, |
| 0:21.9 | good, and all these things is actually jeopardizing your life as opposed to getting you to where |
| 0:26.3 | you want to be. This idea came to me because I was scrolling old Instagram as I do on my |
| 0:32.3 | moment of freedom. I have like two minutes of that in my life. And I saw this woman say, |
| 0:41.9 | every autoimmune comes from the ways that you try and people please. |
| 0:53.4 | And she's had this whole list of like research from Harvard, from all these places about all the traits that people with autoimmune have and all the ways that women suppress themselves basically. |
| 0:55.5 | And it comes from this idea of the good girl syndrome, right? So it's not a bad thing. It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't |
| 0:59.8 | make you wrong. It doesn't make you intrinsically anything bad. But if you're constantly trying to |
| 1:04.9 | be good for other people, you will get yourself to a place where you're unhappy, unsuccessful, |
| 1:09.5 | and you're not actually getting yourself to the goal. Because what is the goal of trying to be good and likable and people-pleasy? |
| 1:16.2 | The goal is that people actually like you and you please them and they want to be around you. |
| 1:20.9 | Guess what, Jessica? Nobody likes the people-pleaser in everyday life. They don't like it. |
| 1:25.2 | They find it off-putting. They find it annoying, |
| 1:28.7 | and you don't get to your goal. So in this one, I'm going to do 10 steps, 10 on how you get |
| 1:34.8 | from a people-pleaser, a good girl, trying to make everyone happy, giving yourself autoimmune |
| 1:39.9 | diseases. I'm not a doctor, but look it up. There's research behind it to an inconvenient |
| 1:45.0 | mother trucker who is actually somewhat of a badass, but is also an amazing person and gets what |
| 1:52.8 | they want in life and is the main character. Call it whatever you want. Dream girl, main character, |
| 1:58.6 | have a glow up, whatever it is, we're going to get there from the doormat, |
| 2:02.8 | people-pleasy version of you. And the first step that we need to take in order to move through |
| 2:08.9 | these things, and it's always the first step, is to understand what the good girl actually is |
... |
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