That's exactly the same thing that it is with the jealousy thing and the comparison thing and we're making ourselves sick and anxious

because we're like they have this, they're really, really happy and we're under the impression that if somebody else has something and they're happy and they've got,

quote unquote got it all that we're losing, we're under the impression that there's a story that we had that we formed in childhood that if somebody else wins, I lose.

Hi, I'm Beatrice. I'm a self-love embodiment coach, a match of sand, and the creator of the self-love over codependency program.

This podcast is all about helping you move from shame, people pleasing, codependency and low self-esteem and fully into alignment, expansion, and unapologetic self-love through healing the inner child's spirituality and manifestation.

Now, I won't lie in addition to the last tears and the joy, you may be triggered from time to time when tuning in, but these triggers will lead to a deep dive into who you really are, all you desire, and the confidence to demand more out of your life.

Welcome to the self-love fix where you get your dose of self-love tips. Welcome back to the self-love fix podcast. My name is Beatrice and I'm your host and this week I'm actually going to be sharing a rewind episode with you.

This episode came out, I think about a year ago now. It's an oldie, but it's a goodie. It's all about jealousy, self-comparsing, and codependency. If you find that you're someone who struggles with jealousy and who struggles with feeling good about yourself, about what you have, about where you are in life in comparison to other people, you won't want to miss this episode. All right, let's get into it.

Hello, and welcome back to the self-love fix podcast. My name is Beatrice. I'm your host. Happy Thursday. How are you doing today? Today we have a really good topic coming up. It's something, it's something we need to talk about. We need to talk about jealousy. We need to talk about comparison, comparing ourselves to other people and the anxiety that comes with it because that's a conversation I don't hear a lot about.

First of all, jealousy in general, it's swept up under the rug, but before I get into that, because that's the topic for today, I'm going to get ahead of myself already. Both myself and my team have gotten some messages from some of you about book recommendations and what are my current book recommendations. I'm going to be really honest with you. I have read a proper book like I used to in a while.

I used to mention some book recommendations at the top of the month and the old podcast episodes, but I haven't done them in a while because I'm going to be honest. I'm not going to fake like I read like I used to. Things have just changed.

I don't read as often, but if you check out the description boxes from some of the older episodes like 80 and below, I think you might catch some recommendations. I used to have them on my website, but I switched my website up so or changed it so I don't have them up. But if you check the description box of some of the old episodes, you might find some recommendations or even if you just listen to some old episodes.

You'll find some recommendations. I find two with books like the reason why right now, not that I have to explain myself, but I also have stopped reading as much as I used to because I like to let things integrate I like to let things sit.

And so you see I would read and read and read and absorb a whole bunch of information. And then it was just information that I had. But now I, you know, I'm intentional about what I consume too. So yeah, that's that on that.

What I really want to do though is get into this conversation about jealousy comparison and anxiety, especially as it relates to codependency, because I feel that jealousy, we've come to learn about jealousy is being something to be ashamed of.

I think it's time to learn it as something that we don't feel like we might even lie to ourselves about it. And I've done an episode on jealousy way back before, but I have a fresh perspective on this because it affects me too. Look, let's be honest with ourselves. If we're jealous, let's be honest, though worst thing we could ever do is lie about how we feel.

That's the worst thing we could ever do is just say, I don't know, I'm not jealous. Oh, no, I don't feel that way. If you're jealous, it's okay. We can say it with our chest. We can say that that we're jealous. And I want to weave in this codependency thing with it because here's the deal. If you grew up in a home where you were being compared to other people, this is huge. This is important.

If the way your parents viewed you was always looped up with how they viewed somebody else, like maybe they said, why don't you act like this person or this child is very obedient and you're very not.

Or look at what school they went to or what career they got or the fact that they're married or they have kids or whatever it is. If you've always been looped up, like you as an individual have been paired up with somebody else, you have actually learned from your environment to be jealous of other people.

You've learned from your environment to compare yourself to other people. You've learned that somebody else has got the juice, they got the sauce, they got something that you don't have. And if you get it, then maybe you'll be better. And in your mind, you're thinking like we're always operating based on what we learned growing up, right? We're always operating.

Here's a deal. I like to think of it as we're always just trying to be loved. We're always trying to experience love and we're always trying to be loved. And so whenever we feel jealousy, like I did a poll a couple weeks ago, or question box on Instagram, which by the way, if you're not following at the self-love fix, you should, it's fun over there.

We talked about lots of stuff over on the Instagrams, but I did a question box where I talked about, you know, what's your struggle with comparison and jealousy, like what comes up for you? And a lot of people were talking about how they look at other people and they're saying, what is it going to be my turn? And I try to be happy for other people, but I can't shake the fact that I underneath, I feel bad that they have the thing and I don't have the thing.

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