#155: How To Fight With Your Spouse
Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex
Authentic Intimacy®
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 10 October 2022
⏱️ 34 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Conflict presents an incredible opportunity for your marriage. When done well, conflict can take you to a level of intimacy where you say, "That was hard; but I'd do it again." Are you ready to fight your way to a better marriage?
Guests: Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley
Show notes:
Fight Your Way To a Better Marriage by Greg and Erin Smalley*
The Important Difference Between Conflict and Fighting (Juli's blog)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What I'm able to do between me and the Lord is go, you know, this is what I'm feeling. And it just is what it is right now. And it doesn't mean I'm going to stay here. It doesn't mean I'm going to act on it because he gave us a brain as well. God gave us a brain and a heart. And together we can make great decisions. And so I can go to Greg and say, I'm feeling completely invalidated. And then it says, |
| 0:23.0 | no, you're not. No, you're not. I don't think that's the right thing. Oh, did I just say that? |
| 0:27.8 | But now I know, now I'm more, I'm able to just go, you know what, it's okay if you don't see that. |
| 0:32.4 | It's just where I'm at. |
| 0:38.5 | Hey, friend, welcome to Job with Julie. |
| 0:41.0 | I'm so glad that you're here with me today. |
| 0:43.3 | This podcast is a listener-supported outreach of authentic intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God's design for sexuality. |
| 0:51.5 | Have you ever felt your heart closed down in the midst of conflict with your spouse? |
| 0:56.5 | Like, you can actually feel yourself closing off, not wanting reconciliation and connectedness. |
| 1:02.0 | There's a lot of reasons why we don't want to stay in that place. And one of them is it's really |
| 1:06.3 | difficult to build sexual intimacy when you're really mad at each other. You've heard me say many times that |
| 1:12.1 | sex and marriage is not just about sexual activity, like how often you're doing it and what you're |
| 1:17.2 | doing. It's actually about building intimacy. And one of the major obstacles to intimacy in any |
| 1:23.2 | relationship is conflict. Greg and Aaron Smalley are with me, and they're sharing from their book, |
| 1:28.7 | Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage. Greg is a psychologist and the vice president of marriage at |
| 1:33.1 | Focus on the Family. Aaron is also a marriage and family therapist, and whether you're married or |
| 1:38.6 | single, you're going to really love their refreshing honesty, humor, and their stories of conflict |
| 1:43.8 | from their own marriage. We'll link to their book and a few, and their stories of conflict from their own marriage. |
| 1:45.3 | We'll link to their book and a few other resources for those of you who want to keep learning, |
| 1:49.7 | and you'll find those in our show notes at AuthenticNMC.com. |
| 1:53.7 | Now, we won't get to finish this conversation today, and Greg and Aaron are going to be back |
| 1:57.6 | with me next time as a follow-up. |
... |
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