153 How Your Past Story Affects Your Present Sexuality with Jay Stringer
The Place We Find Ourselves
Adam Young
4.8 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 30 March 2024
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/pain. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today, Jay and I try to connect some of those dots. If you want to understand your sexual story in more depth, please sign up for The Sexual Attachment Conference on May 4th. We want to help you understand and transform some of the unique sexual difficulties you may be experiencing either individually or as a couple.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome back to the place we find ourselves podcast. I'm Adam Young and I am joined again today by a frequent guest, my friend and fellow therapist and an author Jay Stringer. Jay, it's good to see you. Adam, it's good to see you. |
| 0:13.0 | Adam, it's good to see you. |
| 0:15.0 | Great to be back on your show. |
| 0:18.0 | We are going to talk about the topic that we always seem to be talking about when you're a guest, which is your area of expertise, |
| 0:27.2 | sexuality and our stories. |
| 0:31.6 | And let's start here. In my experience, in your experience, as a therapist working with people, we often find the following pattern. People have to, for some reason, get in some sort of crisis, sexual crisis, or experience |
| 0:48.1 | immense sexual shame before they are willing to take the risk of looking at their sexual story. |
| 0:58.4 | So that's the pattern that we've noticed over and over. |
| 1:01.9 | What I want to ask you about is why do you think this is the case? |
| 1:04.4 | Because it doesn't have to be this way, but it often is. Why do you think this is the case? |
| 1:10.5 | Yes, I agree. It does not have to be that way. And it's one of those heartbreaking patterns that we see over and over again where people are given next to know sexual education whatsoever and then they are |
| 1:26.4 | expected to have this kind of masterpiece of sexuality and once they get married or |
| 1:32.2 | once they enter into the relationship that you know everything is you know supposed to be working and then automatically there is some level of like desire discrepancies that emerges there's some |
| 1:46.0 | level of infidelity or porn use and so oftentimes it is that crisis that begins to open the door to the wider work of healing and growth. |
| 1:55.9 | And so, you know, recently I came across a quote by a depth psychologist by the name of Bill Plotkin and he's talking about the ego but I think |
| 2:06.7 | what he is saying is very apropos for sexuality as well so this is what he says. He says in contemporary Western culture our |
| 2:15.4 | egos often develop in such a way that we are both underdeveloped and |
| 2:20.3 | overly hardened. If in our youth there had been elders about, they would have provided |
| 2:26.8 | initiatory experiences to soften us up or crack us open. Without elders the soul waits for or creates a trauma, |
| 2:36.2 | something extreme that will loose the ego's grip on its old way of belonging to the world. |
| 2:47.3 | So if I were to apply this to sex, part of the way that I might rewrite it would be to say in contemporary Western culture, our sexuality |
| 2:53.2 | often develops in ways that we are both |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Adam Young, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Adam Young and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.