This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.

Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes

your questions.

And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.

Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.

Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.

So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.

It's never an easy decision to end a marriage. Parents want to know how to help their kids navigate changing family dynamics.

Dr. Lisa discusses how kids process divorce at different ages and the importance of helping them feel secure and loved while working to shield them from conflict.

This quote from today's episode from Dr. Lisa really resonated with

some of our listeners. Kids are made up of their parents. They identify with and admire them and want to

have good feelings about their parents. So when you trash your ex, your kid feels an injury there.

Dr. Lisa and I also discuss the importance of getting kids to know the breakup was not their

fault. Here's our encore episode. How do we help kids through divorce? You know, we're talking about

divorce this week, and something you told somebody years ago still sticks in my mind when you said,

just because you get divorced doesn't mean that the marriage

was bad. That's right. I think, you know, we get married and we're one age and we're one

person and then we grow and change and we don't always grow in the same direction.

And I was, I was talking with a friend of mine who had recently divorced, and I don't always assume people are heartbroken about it, though sometimes they are.

And it became clear that she was not heartbroken about it.

And I said, you know, just because something's not good forever doesn't mean it wasn't good.

That's such a good quote. It helps. It helps. And it's even true of things like friendships that

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