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lemonparty

153: A.S.S.A.S.S.I.N.

lemonparty

ben avery

Comedy, Arts

4.81.1K Ratings

🗓️ 30 September 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ben discovers the story of an Abilene police officer who tragically died trying to meet with "strangers" on Craigslist... Meanwhile Jace rants about the FBI wrangling up the would-be assassin of the Abilene pride parade, and their mother visits them this week in California to talk Satan and new sex offenders that moved into the neighborhood.... all while Devan Costa defends the Crown Prince from any wrong doing in preparation for the Riyadh comedy festival... and in the end? Ben learns how to be a feminist once and for all... this week on lemonparty. LP Tour is cancelled due to Israel probably and you all should be getting refunds through the venue https://www.lemonparty.life/ bonus episodes ⁠https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty⁠ Support the sponsors: https://lucy.co/lemon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Chicken,

0:02.0

One-Waw, Chicken,

0:07.0

Whom, Chicken,

0:08.0

Whiz

0:09.0

Chicken,

0:10.0

Chicken,

0:11.0

Chicken,

0:12.0

Woo,

0:13.0

Yeah, you like my outfit,

0:16.0

Don't even make the deal,

0:18.0

I thought you said you had a girl

0:20.0

on the light bill

0:21.6

Always in my face

0:22.6

Talking listening

0:24.6

Girl I end up by some real for the cat-knack

0:27.6

You ride clean but your gas tank is on me

0:30.6

Be stepping now they got no decent shoes on your feet

0:33.6

That's just a meter bro

0:35.6

You don't know what you're talking about In your way there that your choice in the club now. Hate to see you with your club. You're bombing with a mug. No one that's too bad with your boy, you're nothing but a scrub. But he was with me. That's with me. Cause when I got him on you, when you're bad in him face. I saw it and I face drinking on the egg. I'm going to get in a little bit.

1:05.3

So we're going to get a little bit early here. Jace is going to, What concert are you going to? I'm going to a big thief concert. I'm going to a big gay, non-binary concert in San Diego. What's big thief? Big thief. They're kind of like the Eagles for women who are pretending to be gay. Okay. They're like a Brooklyn non-binary. They're very good. I think they're making some of the best music right now, but it is for people who think they're leftists. And, but I think the band like supports Israel too. So I'm not, oh, that's odd. Yeah, I'm not, they have like a, like, haim kind of or whatever. Yeah, kind of. They have like one, one drummer who's, like, very, like, Israeli-type looking.

1:45.5

I think he's infected the rest of the band.

1:47.2

When you go to these things, do you think people think maybe you're just, like, the biggest trans woman alive?

...

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