151 What To Do With Desire and Dread with Mike Boland

The Place We Find Ourselves

Adam Young

Hope, Christian, Christianity, Healing, Story, Trauma, Psychotherapy, Mental Health, Restoration, Heart, Sexualabuse, Health & Fitness, Adamyoung, Therapy, Attachment, Interpersonalneurobiology, Religion & Spirituality, Limbicsystem, Neuroscience

4.8 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 31 January 2024

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Pastor and counselor Mike Boland shares a story from when he was 15 years old. It’s a story about the interplay of longing for connection and, at the same time, dreading what will be required of him in return. We talk about grooming, and the war of ambivalence that rages in one’s body in the midst of abuse. You can find out more about Mike’s work at therestinitiative.org.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to the place we find ourselves podcast. I'm Adam Young and I am honored to be joined today by my friend Mike Boland from Atlanta. Mike, good to see you.
0:12.0	Thanks for having me Adam. Great to see you. Thanks for having me, Adam.
0:13.0	Great to see you as well.
0:15.0	Why don't we start by just, if you could put some words to a little bit about who you are,
0:19.0	what you spend your time doing, what you're passionate about.
0:22.0	So, like you said, I live in Atlanta and my biggest passion is my family probably.
0:27.0	My wife of 20 years, Jen, and then got four children, one going to college this year,
0:32.0	and then three boys after her and love my
0:36.1	family, just growing a ton there.
0:38.3	Other than that, I've been a pastor for 20 years and I'm now part-time and I'm really passionate about where I work. I work for the Rest Initiative now and we do story work and care for organizations basically and so a lot of counseling and story work and all that we love doing.
0:57.0	So let's talk a little bit about how you began to get interested in your own personal story.
1:02.4	Like what prompted you to begin to engage your story?
1:06.7	Yeah, so man, that's a complicated question.
1:09.6	So I grew up in the children's home and just a lot of abuse in my past and so took that into marriage and you can imagine just a lot of what they call baggage I guess and I met a woman named Lottie and it's the first person that ever really engaged me from a story perspective and she introduced me to Dan Alinder and you know and it was really great work and it helped a ton in my marriage
1:37.1	but as yours and ministry went by there was just something missing still I There was a level I had not gone and we have more children and then I went on the sabbatical when I was in Atlanta and I noticed how angry and tired I was. My anger was growing at my family and my kids and I just had this sense of dread that really guided my life and so I went on a recovery week just to do some deeper work and I tasted something there that I just not
2:09.7	had much of before so that's that's what started it.
2:14.0	And when you say Recovery Week, you mean the same thing I went on with Dan
2:17.6	Allender, week-long men who have a history of sexual abuse,
2:21.8	like engaging that story?
2:23.6	Yes?
2:24.8	That's it.
2:25.8	And that was significant for you.
	...

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