147 SelfWork: "I'm Better Off Alone": Challenging Seven Distorted Beliefs That Lead To Depression and Loneliness
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 20 September 2019
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Depression is going to be the topic of SelfWork for the coming weeks. And today, let's look into seven distorted beliefs that are going to justify or support you staying isolated, and even convince you that you're better off being alone. But loneliness and isolation are part and parcel of depression's hold on you. I know how real these voices can seem. I know how hard they are to fight off, especially when your mind isn’t helping you. But I'm going to use my version of common-sense psychology to see where challenging those beliefs might lead you.
What are these beliefs?
- I can’t be around other people; they just make me mad.
- No one would understand.
- I’m burdening others if I talk about my pain.
- People have disappointed me, and I just can’t be hurt anymore.
- People don’t want to hear that I’m depressed again.
- I don’t care anymore.
- If I have to ask for it, it’s not the same
Do you hear yourself or someone you love? Then I hope today's episode will shake those beliefs up.
The listener email today is from a woman who’s struggled with obesity most of her life and has won that battle, but is left with the scars of loose sagging skin. And she’s met someone with whom she wants a vital sexual relationship. So, she’s struggling with trust and vulnerability.
You can hear more about coping with depression and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast!
If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression will be arriving November 1, 2019 and you can pre-order here!Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:30.0 | Hello and welcome to self-work. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:33.5 | I'm a clinical psychologist out of Fayetteville, Arkansas. |
| 0:36.8 | And I began self-work to try to extend the walls of my practice. |
| 0:41.2 | I had met in one little room for over 25 years talking with |
| 0:45.5 | individuals and couples. I wanted to reach out to those of you who might already |
| 0:50.0 | be interested in therapy or psychological issues. To those of you and |
| 0:54.9 | there probably many of you who've been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or |
| 0:59.1 | some mental illness and you're looking for answers. And even to those who might never consider darkening the |
| 1:06.3 | door of a therapist but are just curious enough to listen to a podcast. There's so much misinformation and actual ignorance about what |
| 1:16.3 | therapy is and so I want to give you a taste of at least my version of therapy or therapeutic talk and then you can make your own |
| 1:26.4 | decision. For the next few weeks we're going to be talking about depression. |
| 1:30.3 | Today we're going to be talking about the voice of depression that actually can lead you to |
| 1:35.7 | loneliness and even despair. I know how real these voices can seem. I know how hard these beliefs are to fight off, especially when your mind isn't helping you. |
| 1:46.1 | But as I heard Esther Perrell in her fairly new podcast, where should we begin? |
| 1:51.6 | Say the other day, and by the way it's really good, attitude is everything. |
| 1:56.0 | Attitude about medical illness, attitude toward even your own mental illness. |
| 2:00.0 | Do you become your illness or do you see it as not you and do your best to manage it? That's huge |
| 2:06.2 | We'll go through seven statements that I hear regularly from people who are depressed that prevent those very people from risking more engagement. |
... |
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