Hi again and welcome back to the savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every

Friday I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

So we all know or even love dearly someone who complains about everything.

They complain about their partner, the weather, their boss, their weight, their internet

speed, that the only thing on the menu at their local Indian

restaurant is Indian food, or that this Portobello sandwich has mushrooms on it.

So this week, by request from an enterprising listener who wrote and asked how she could stop

complaining so much, we'll tackle three myths about complaining, and four ways you can get a

grip on your griping.

Now, whether you call it venting, whining or belly aching,

let's start out with three myths about complaining. Complaining myth number one.

Complaining makes me feel better.

So, there is an idea that venting works like a steam valve,

that releasing some pent-up pressure is necessary to prevent a later explosion.

But that's not actually how it works.

Venting, rather than lessening negative emotion, instead fuels it.

In study after study, when people are asked to release negative emotion

by punching pillows, confronting the person who made them feel bad or even by playing tackle football,

far from diffusing their anger, they instead amplify it.

Why?

Well, part of the problem is repetition.

Complaining replays the event in your mind,

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