144: Ask David--Relationships, Relationships, Relationships!

Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy

David Burns, MD

Clinical, Therapy, Anxiety, Psychotherapy, Depression, Health & Fitness, Cognitive, Mentalhealth, Mental Health, Behavior, Education, Self-improvement, Psychology, Relationships, Addiction, Happiness, Personalgrowth

4.4 • 856 Ratings

🗓️ 10 June 2019

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My wife claims that I never listen! How can I possibly agree with her?

My wife left me! How can I correct the distortions in her criticisms?

How can you deal with people who constantly wallow in self-pity?

And more!

Hi podcast fans,

Today we've got some terrific Five Secrets questions that you have submitted.

Mike #1: I love your Five Secrets of Effective Communication. Why does secret #4, “I Feel” Statements, not include Thought Empathy?
Mike #2: I have seen communication models that include expressing and listening for needs. Aren’t needs and wants important and important to express?
Al: How can I help my wife recognize her many cognitive distortions, like All-or-Nothing Thinking? It seems hopeless!
Guy: If a loved one says, “You never listen,” how could I possibly find the truth in this statement? How could you genuinely agree with an All-or-Nothing statement such as, “You never ….”?
Both Sonja and Eileen asked: How can you deal with someone who constantly wallows in self-pity and plays the role of victim. It's exhausting!

Thanks for tuning in, and keep the great questions coming!

David and Rhonda

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Feeling Good podcast, where you can learn powerful techniques to change the way you feel.
0:16.3	I am your host, Rhonda Borovsky, and joining me here in the Murrieta studio is Dr. David Burns.
0:22.6	Dr. David Burns is a pioneer in the development of cognitive behavioral therapy and the creator of the new team therapy.
0:29.6	He is the author of Feeling Good, which has sold over 5 million copies in the United States and has been translated into over 30 languages. David is currently
0:39.0	an emeritus adjunct professor of clinical psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine.
0:45.1	Hi, David. Hi, Rhonda. And hi to all of our listeners out in podcast land. Welcome to episode 144.
0:53.3	Today we're doing another Ask David session, but we're doing it
0:56.8	specifically on questions relating to your five secrets of effective communication. Yeah,
1:02.2	relationship conflicts, in other words. And I want to thank everybody for a couple of things. First,
1:09.5	you're sending in great questions,
1:11.1	so we've already got some terrific Ask David General questions
1:15.2	coming up here in a few weeks.
1:17.1	Really neat stuff.
1:19.5	And secondly, thank you for supporting the Feeling Good podcast.
1:24.8	Last week, which isn't the last week when this will be published,
1:29.0	because we're recording this weeks ahead of time, but just a few days ago, we downloaded
1:34.9	our one millionth podcast, Feeling Good podcast. And that's fantastic. We also broke a new record
1:42.4	for last month. We broke over 80,000 downloads for last month alone, which was April.
1:51.3	And so I want to thank all of you for doing that and ask you to keep spreading the word to people on the survey that we did.
2:00.6	You indicated, I think 88% of you indicated that you're a... to people on the survey that we did.
2:07.0	I think 88% of you indicated that you're suggesting the podcast to friends,
2:11.2	if you're a therapist, to patients, to colleagues, to family members, and we really, really do appreciate that.
	...

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