I'm Maggie Smith, and this is The Slowdown.

A friend of mine said recently,

You seem younger now than when I met you.

It's like you're reverse aging.

I laughed.

I'm not reverse aging physically, mind you.

I have more lines around my eyes than ever before, and some new ones

around my mouth, too. The poet in me takes some pleasure in the terms for these wrinkles,

crow's feet and marionette lines.

It helps me to remind myself that all of this is from smiling.

It's all evidence of joy etched into the face I've worn for almost 49 years.

If there is going to be evidence of any emotion on my face, let it be joy.

I think what my friend meant by reverse aging is that my spirit seems lighter. It feels lighter. But why? My life isn't easier than it was when I was in my

20s. I'm solo parenting two kids. I'm self-employed. My parents are aging. My house is aging. I'm aging. I have more big adult challenges than ever,

but most days, not all days, but most days, I feel lighter.

How strange that with more burdens to carry I feel less burdened, it doesn't make sense.

The only way I can explain it to myself is that with age comes perspective. I know what matters,

and I really do try to let the rest go.

Midlife has upended everything I thought about aging.

It's not at all what I expected.

Certainly, when I was a child, I thought of people in their 40s as old,

and now that I'm closer to 50 than 40, I laugh at that. I feel young. I feel younger in many ways

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