Okay, folks, you are listening to the latest episode of Life on Planet Porky,

with myself the Porkmeister, a slightly rejuvenated porkmeister, actually, let me tell you.

And of course, with Ms. Leslie Ann Jones in company with me and Leslie Ann, we've had

conversations in the past about the extent to which you've undergone cosmetic surgery. But actually,

funny enough, and the answer, of course, in your case was no, I seem to have beaten you to it.

Well, you have. And I'm dying to hear about it.

How did it go? Did it hurt? Well, I've, for the benefit of our millions of listeners, I've had my,

I've been through the teeth whitening process, okay? Now, the thing is, you can't actually tell

for a couple of days, and that's the truth of it. You know, the thing is the, the work is

done on your mouth. And what happens is you sit under a light for two hours and the light,

and your teeth are glossed with something. And then this ultraviolet beam is put on your teeth.

You know what I mean? Two hours? Yeah, two hours, yeah. Good God, how did you keep your mouth open for two hours?

Mind you, in your case, probably not that hard.

Gosh, that's very nice, isn't it?

Thank you very much, Mr. Jones.

Let's open today's podcast with a few insult, shall we?

No, what they do is they put a mould in your mouth to keep your lips open, you see, away from your teeth.

And then the light shines on it.

Although I say two hours, it's not two hours of continuous light.

It's 15-minute sessions of light, and about six of them, you know, you know what I mean?

So are you telling me you actually had to sit there with your mouth wide open for two hours?

Yes, did, yeah.

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