141. It Was A Sunday...

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2022

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Pay attention to this STORY and DON’T get DISTRACTED, like you would while holding the hand of the Archduke’s son while the world’s coal-tossing competition progressed a mere thirteen feet away. The Archduke of course demanded a close view, given his failing eyesight, but also his failing sense of smell and taste. He ate meals for hours, and never once had a drink, afraid to wash away the paste before he could enjoy the flavor. Now, his son mind you is a hemophiliac, and as such has taken to a life of precaution. His mother held his hand on long walks, while crossing the trolleyways, and eventually, while he slept and bathed. While she is on vacation, I’ve been charged to take her stead, given my similar height and smooth pristine hands. “Not a scar!” the Archduke declared upon inspection weeks prior. “Not a mole not a freckle!” Now, coal-tossing is a sport with an ancient, but complicated lineage… Invocation Petitions for Steadfast Congregants Liturgical Reading: “It Was a Sunday…” Get on in on this, on and in and on, again on, again in, on and on in and again. ‘Nother Story in a fortnight, ya goober. BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome. Welcome, dear congregants.
0:26.7	The clergy wants to thank you for braving the cold and joining us in our cavernous, uninsulated,
0:34.7	giraffe church.
0:36.8	I can see your shivering shoulders and runny noses. May your
0:40.7	sinusy goo be a testament to your commitment to the story. The story must be told.
0:48.6	The story must be told. Okay, so we've got good news and we've got bad news, congregants.
0:55.9	The good news is, last month's fundraising drive was an outrageous success.
1:02.1	Thank you.
1:02.9	Thank you to everyone who joined our Patreon.
1:06.7	The bad news is the IRS caught wind that we were getting some money in the bank and swarmed
1:14.9	upon us like so many flies around a steaming pile of dog shit.
1:20.7	Our assets have been frozen, so we can't cough up the cheddar to eat the church.
1:26.4	So I guess you could say we are frozen too.
1:33.0	Uh, man, for real, uh, we could be facing some serious jail time.
1:43.1	We're trying to get Devin to take the charges, but he said he's not going back to the
1:47.7	big house again, so I don't know, congregants.
1:51.5	I guess we're just kind of fucking.
1:53.4	Sister Colista, how about we lighten up the mood and say some petitions?
2:00.1	We don't want our dear congregants here to think they've
2:02.8	been pulled into some sort of, some sort of illegal Ponzi schemer, something.
2:10.7	All right, thank you, Brother Reed. Congregants, we'd like to take this time now to thank
2:17.2	brand new congregants who have joined our Platinum Star Plus tier on Patreon.
	...

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