140: Why You Keep Settling (and How to Finally Choose Yourself)

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Mental Health, Education, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 4.8K Ratings

🗓️ 16 May 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you dating someone because it feels “good enough”… or because it actually feels good? In this episode, Sabrina takes a no-BS look at what it really means to “settle” in dating and relationships — and why it’s often less of a conscious choice and more of a nervous system pattern. Whether you’re single, stuck in a situationship, or already in a long-term relationship, this episode helps you understand the neuroscience behind why we stay, even when we know we shouldn’t — and how to shift that. From the Default Mode Network to dopamine loops in the ventral striatum, we’re unpacking how your brain keeps you chasing the familiar instead of choosing what’s right for you.

You’ll learn how to identify if you're operating from cognitive dissonance, why secure people might feel boring at first, and how to build real self-trust that leads to better decisions in love. Plus, Sabrina gives you practical tools like the “Pattern Disrupt” and “Pause Before the High” methods to help you rewire your relationship patterns and finally choose yourself — whether that means raising your standards in dating or getting honest in your current partnership. This is your blueprint for breaking the cycle and building something real.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, hello, hello.
0:02.3	Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar Show.
0:05.0	My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host.
0:08.3	Hi, babies!
0:09.3	Happy Friday!
0:10.7	We made it.
0:11.7	We did it.
0:12.4	We're here.
0:13.1	We're together.
0:14.8	And you guys, I'm really excited.
0:16.5	We got a really good episode coming up.
0:18.5	And I hear you guys.
0:19.4	I hear the pain points. You guys are writing it always being like, hey, could you do more relationship content? The answer is yes and. Yes, and because
0:25.4	we do have a lot of people that are daters and I don't ever want to alienate and be like, cool,
0:29.1	you're talking about shit I don't forward, I'm going to kind of be
0:37.9	working with the episodes now to be able to help both of you guys, because I think it's about
0:41.6	building a solid foundation, and then once you're in that foundation, what do you do? So we have
0:46.2	some dedicated episodes that are really relationship focused, and I will continue to bowl those
0:50.4	out. But please know, guys, I want to meet you where you're at and I am here to support you. And I'm just so fucking grateful for all of you. So thank you, as always,
0:57.5	for supporting me and allowing me to show up authentically so that you can as well.
1:01.9	Today we're going to talk about how to stop settling in your dating and relationships and how
1:05.7	to actually fucking choose yourself. Because we say it all time, You hear me say it like a broken fucking record. Are you choosing yourself? Are you choosing yourself? And you're like, what does that mean? Zohar?
	...

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