138: Hide Your Wieners

Hello Dysfunction

Comedy, Improv

5 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 29 July 2021

⏱️ 105 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We’re still wearing masks, Pata Fria’s sex drive is on it’s way back and Crystal got her mouth clawed. Don’t poison your family, be passive aggressive or start fires with your gender reveals.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey guys! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. It's really hot today. I wasn't prepared.
0:21.3	Oh, we're episode 138. Yeah, that's what I thought. A fellow dysfunction with pot of
0:26.1	freedom. And I'm crystal. And it is. It's like probably 20 degrees hotter here than my house and
0:32.0	I'm only probably seven minutes away. Yes, very annoying. She showed up in a hoodie and leggings and
0:38.0	shit. Well, you know what? It is warm at my house too. It's like 80, but here it's over 90.
0:44.7	But when I came out of my apartment, I've said before, like, I can't gauge the weather from my
0:50.0	apartment. Yeah, you gotta look at that. You know what I couldn't gauge either? Is I walked out to
0:54.4	leave. And I smelled hello barbecue. That smelled hello fucking good, bitch. And we're not
0:58.4	supposed to have barbecue girls on the property at all. So my nosey ass went and peaked to see what
1:05.4	patio it was coming from. And I was like, should I call? Because we had one before and they made
1:11.0	us get rid of it. You're like, I'm bitter. I'm like, should I tell? Should I tell them? Give me a
1:16.8	burnt hot one with a piece of white bread and some mustard. And I won't tell. Yeah, but it smelled so
1:23.6	strong. It was a man out there, fucking barbecue. And maintenance was like in my building, which
1:28.5	was right next to that building. Oh, they're bold. I was like, they're gonna fucking smell that.
1:33.3	Yeah, it's a very distinct smell. It smells like a fire. It was so strong. Yeah. I'm not a huge
1:39.8	fan of barbecue, but that sounds good right now. Burnt hot links are my jam. Even when I was vegan,
1:45.3	I was like, I'll just cheat with a burnt hot link. Yeah, I'm not really turning those down. Yeah,
1:51.9	me either. Now I'm hungry. I know. I'm like, too. I'm all tech smart and telling.
1:59.3	Find us burnt hot links. I'm going to make noise. Sorry. Okay.
2:05.6	So what's been going on? COVID is rude. Yeah. It's like back with a vengeance. We might,
2:13.2	we might, are we going to close down again? Or are we going to have our masks again? I just read
2:17.9	that the CDC is recommending we go back to mask mandates everywhere. I feel like they should have
	...

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