Hey, babes. I'm really excited to be here with you guys today because today's going to be a slightly different episode in the structure that we have it. You guys know how I do it. Either it's like full solo or a full guest. And I kind of wanted to hybrid it because today I'm going off the cuff. I don't have any notes. I don't have any place that I need to go. And my mama's here. And she's going to come in and talk about how my anxious attachment really

impacted my dating and relationship history because I think we hear it ethereally. I share stories,

but to have somebody here, like when my best friend Raquel wrote in, it changes the dynamic

because I think personally, I normalized my behavior in the sense where, like, I genuinely thought,

no, there's just something wrong with me. Like, I'm fucked up. I am the freak of nature. Nobody else is

struggling with this. And I think that was where I struggled for a long time, was feeling really lost.

I'm like, I think, you know, we all see the same sides of the internet, the amount of clickbait, the amount of videos, I cannot tell you how many videos

I've seen where it's like, text this guy to get this. And I'm like, okay, okay, cool. And I'll text.

And then I'm like, I got a dick pick. But I didn't get anything of depth because at the end of the

day, it was never about do this to get this. It was never about self-abandoned, go external, have someone else validate you. It has always been.

Come back home to yourself. Learn how to validate yourself. Learn how to love yourself authentically

and not fucking bullshit. And learn how to show up as yourself. And I think when I think back on

my dating history, oh, Lord, when I was in my teen years, like, I was the late bloomer.

I was the person that, like, I didn't kiss a boy. And I think I kissed a boy at like 13,

and I felt like it was awful. It was like something feels wrong. Like, I just, uh, and then in high

school I kissed a boy, but like, I didn't do anything else. I didn't let a boy touch me anywhere else because I also came from a household of

my father being so open sexually, right? Like he had his colorful pass. He had porn feeders in New York

in the 80s. He had a gay club for 25 years in New York. Like we grew up very like love is love,

who gives a shit. And then my mother, very prude, very conservative, don't let a boy touch you, and they're

going to think you're a slut and all of this. And it was really polarizing. And so I grew up not really

knowing which way was which, right? I didn't know who to be. I didn't know how to act, but I was always

dubbed as boy crazy. And it was always the running joke of like, oh, Sabrina's just obsessed with another guy.

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