Welcome to a very special E1. We have sweated, sweat, and labored to bring you a screenplay that we wrote all day. It took us. Most screenplays are works of art that take so much work over months and months and months, but we're smart enough that we were

able to knock this immense screenplay out in two days. It's a fantasy story about a little

hero named Hammer Swinger. I'd like to introduce you to E1 Presents, Hammer Swinger.

It is a fantasy story about the adventurers guild who has ran out of monsters and now they spend all day bashing peasants. The list of

characters we have presents, I will introduce thusly. Me, Branson, will be playing Hammerswinger.

He's a determined man who is tired of killing peasants and a very accomplished adventurer.

There are no more monsters anymore and he's just tired. He's killed thousands of peasants.

He's kind of got a flat top haircut about 47 years of age. Stretch will be played by

Andrew. He's just a human guy, but he started following his favorite bard band around the

country on tour, and he has discovered some cool shit like drugs to do, and it made him more

worldly and wise and magical. He's a gross man with long,

wavy, blonde hair and a very long neck, how he got the name stretch. He is a shaman who lives

in a fetid bog outside of a small village. Ventilamo, the elf, will be played by Joel. She's an absolute straight woman, a foreign

exchange elf who doesn't get the simple ways of the local folks. She's been assigned by the

Adventurers Guild to follow Hammer Swinger to learn the ways of the hero. There is Malamar, the

dragon, who will be played by Charles.

He's a 2,000-year-old dragon companion of the shaman in human form, and everyone knows he's

a dragon, doesn't want people to forget it, but he's trying to hide as all the monsters

are dead, and he assumes his human form throughout the day.

Rupert the Nantes will also be played by Andrew.

He's a peasant.

He doesn't have any genitalia because he has nettles in his bollocks.

...