135. "It could cost us $50k to have a baby. Can we afford it?"

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 19 December 2023

⏱️ 78 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Kait is 36 and Em is 35. They’re married and pursuing IVF as a means to expand their family. But a misalignment on money stands in the way of a truly shared vision for their future. Em shuts down and delegates responsibility. Kait frantically checks accounts and worries about daily spending. This episode is brought to you by: Calm | Go to https://calm.com/ramit for 40% off unlimited access to Calm’s entire library. Mint mobile | To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to https://mintmobile.com/ramit. Facet | Get affordable, accessible financial planning with a flat fee membership. For a limited time, the $250 enrollment fee will be waived when you sign up at https://facet.com/ramit. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. BetterHelp | Visit https://betterhelp.com/ramit today to get 10% off your first month. Connect with Ramit Get the Podcast Newsletter and exclusive Q&A about the show Get Money Coaching with Ramit Download the Conscious Spending Plan Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube Submit a question for the newsletter iwt.com/askramit If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	It frustrates me that M doesn't know those parts of our financial situation.
0:09.0	She only wants to talk about money when it's good and we're making money.
0:12.0	I guess I don't. about money when it's good and we're making money.
0:12.5	I guess I don't care about it because I feel unprepared.
0:19.3	And then I kind of shut down.
0:21.2	I know that I don't want to be in this dynamic forever. I think that we have a lot of things
0:27.2	working against us right now, like we have the Heeloch, we have the wedding that we paid for on our credit card, we have the IVF that we're paying for,
0:38.1	we have a lot of things that have kind of built up.
0:41.8	What I am asking, I think of M, is to like temporarily get in this
0:46.3	boat with me to help me, help us release the pressure. Like you feel like you're rowing alone.
0:54.0	If you could just have a partner in your boat,
0:57.0	maybe you could get there safely together.
1:00.0	Yeah, we want the same things.
1:02.0	We just approach how to do them in different ways.
1:07.4	I think sometimes we don't do them
1:08.8	because we can't get to a resolution.
1:18.0	I'd like you to meet Kate and M. Kate's 36, M is 35.
1:20.1	And here's a little excerpt from the application that they sent me.
1:24.0	As I read this to you, try to think about your first impressions.
1:28.4	How much do you think they make and how much do you think they spend?
1:31.8	Listen in, I've read Ramiet's book and even implemented the strategies.
1:36.8	I explain them to my wife, but she often gets frustrated with the limitations of our plan,
	...

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