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132: Radical Candor vs. Counsel Together

Mint Arrow Messages

PodcastOne

Education

4.91.6K Ratings

🗓️ 16 August 2021

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I love to read, and one of the books I started reading this year (after hearing many business people rave about it) was Radical Candor. This book has some GREAT lessons and takeaways, and in trying to implement the number one takeaway in the book, I felt like I really failed. Today I’m sharing what I think I did right, but mostly where I went wrong, who helped me to see the situation more clearly and most importantly, how to do better next time.

 

Time Stamps:

[00:31] - Being honest can help keep others safe and can avoid worse situations in the future.

[03:18] - I talk about a time I challenged life with radical candor. Despite going through with it, I did feel a bit awkward.

[06:00] - My father has a great ability of giving honest feedback. When I told him about the situation, he gave this tip about feedback.

[07:40] - What is Neil’s view of the situation? He speaks on awkward moments in relationships and why not communicating doesn’t make things better.

[10:07] - Honest communication in hard situations is all about the delivery of that communication.

[12:51] - Sometimes it’s best to involve people in the process of the solution or criticism. I share what happened when I used this approach in parenting.

[15:34] - Neil describes the importance of counsel and fostering clear communication.

[17:43] - Retelling religious text, I give background to the story of the counsel and the decision before the creation of the Earth. 

[20:37] - We’re allowed to choose. It’s up to us to decide what we’d like to follow.

[22:34] - Neil and I share the way we talked to our kids about healthy and constructive methods to handle feelings.

[25:19] - Neil mentions the change in how our children manage conflict and feelings now.

[26:46] - Neil and I discuss how amazing a great communicator navigates a tough position by referencing a biblical story.

[28:20] - Communication is absent of shaming and berating. 

[31:10] - What are the attributes of properly using authority?

[33:07] - Frustration is natural, but sometimes it doesn’t do good to project that onto others.

[35:07] - Here’s the verdict on “radical candor vs. counsel together”.

[36:37] - Neil gives the practical side of communication to remember when things don’t go as expected. Corrine suggests the one plan that always works.

[39:31] - Take these tips for the next time you need to give feedback to someone.

 

Supporting Resources:

“Family Councils” Talk by M. Russell Ballard

 “Christlike Communications” Talk by L. Lionel Kendrick

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I love to read, and one of the books I started reading this year after hearing many business people rave about it was radical candor.

0:07.6

This book has some great lessons and takeaways, and in trying to implement the number one takeaway in the book, I feel like I really failed.

0:14.6

So today I'm sharing what I think I did right, but mostly where I went wrong.

0:19.0

Who helped me to see the situation more clearly and most

0:21.9

importantly, how to do better next time.

0:31.5

Today we're going to start off with a story of something that I wish I would have done a little bit better. And it was a really

0:38.8

uncomfortable situation, but we'll get to it in a second. First, I have to tell you, though,

0:43.8

that I love to read. I love self-help books. I love business books. And one of the books that

0:50.7

I picked up somewhat recently was Radical Cander. And I'm not necessarily

0:56.3

recommending it. I think there are good things about it. So for anyone that is going to come

1:00.7

at me about, like, that has a lot of swear words in it. It does. So don't read it if that's

1:07.1

something that will bother you. But also for anyone who's like, that book's amazing,

1:11.9

I can't believe you're going to challenge it. I think there are really good things in that book.

1:16.9

But here's what happened to me. So I started reading Radical Kander and I was probably halfway

1:21.9

through it. And it really challenges you to get really honest and give very clear transparent feedback with people.

1:29.8

It has a lot of other, there are a lot of other principles that it teaches, but that's kind of the

1:34.0

main one, right? So, and this is one of the quotations that kind of sums up the whole idea of

1:41.6

the book, which is it's brutally hard to tell people when they are screwing up.

1:46.0

It is just so uncomfortable.

1:47.9

Niels loves that, right?

1:49.8

Giving feedback to people.

1:52.5

I don't.

...

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