131: How to Control Your Emotions and Take the Next Step, with Bonni Stachowiak

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Management, Careers, Business

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2014

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

First question from Khrist and a few suggestions from us:

Recognize your hot buttons or trigger point
Avoid handling things in the midst of anger and emotion, if you can avoid them (for example, don’t send emails when angry)
Instead, write out your thoughts just for yourself
Get input from others who are not as close to the situation
Start with questions and not accusations/assumptions
Sometimes a bit of expressed anger or frustration is OK, assuming it is genuine
Consider what you are really able to do or not do
Give yourself grace too – none of us are perfect at handling these situations
In fact, we discover the most from imperfect situations
Book recommendation: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown*
Book recommendation: Difficult Conversations*
Video recommendation: Brene Brown’s first and second TED talks
Past podcast recommendation: How to Lead When Someone is Driving You Nuts [episode #48]

Second question from Huzefa and a few suggestions from us:

What is it you want about being an entrepreneur and could you achieve it without the risk?
Three elements you’d need to be successful:
- Skill in the field
- Passion for the work
- Market of customers who will pay what you are worth
Could you do a test-run or two on a small client project that would prove your model and lessen risk?
Book recommendation: Empowered manager by Peter Block*
Book recommendation: Business Model Generation*
Book recommendation: Business Plan In A Day by Rhonda Abrams*

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Often our questions for ourselves and others are what to do next on today's episode,
0:05.0	your questions and some perspective from us on what's the next step.
0:09.0	This is coaching for leaders, episode 131. Produced by Innovate Learning,
0:15.3	Maximizing Human Potential
0:18.0	Greetings to you from Orange County, California.
0:24.8	This is coaching for leaders and I'm your host Dave Stahoviac.
0:29.4	This is a weekly coaching show to help us all be better leaders through improve communication, human relations, and personal productivity.
0:39.0	And on today's show, your questions, and in fact hadn't planned to do a Q&A show today but we ended up
0:45.8	receiving a few questions this week both of them related to next steps on what to
0:51.6	do next and so we thought we'd tackle them and set aside
0:55.0	our other planned topics and go forward and I just love hearing from the
0:59.7	coaching for leaders community and hearing about what's important to you, what you're thinking about so that we can address your questions and joining me on today's show is Bonnie Stoviac.
1:11.0	Hi Bonnie.
1:12.0	Hi Dave and hello to the audience. I am so glad you're
1:15.2	back. I know people always enjoy hearing your voice and your perspective as well too and I
1:19.2	love that you and I sometimes approach these questions with different perspectives.
1:23.0	So, you know, it's one of the nice things about talking about coaching and leadership
1:27.6	is there's not one right way to do it.
1:29.7	And I hope that as you're listening to some of the questions from our community and just our dialogue
1:34.6	around these questions that you may think of what are some things that would work for you and then
1:38.5	set aside the things that won't and we'll go from there on hopefully giving you a next step that you can take on these as well.
1:44.4	So our first question here is, I believe, from Chris.
	...

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