Hey, Tiny's. Today's episode we have Toby joining us on the pod. So this episode is all about

getting the male perspective on dilemmas. So we're going to get into them now.

Guys, today is the Toby takeover of the dilemmas and he's going to give us a male perspective

on some juicy dilemmas. Enjoy. Okay, dilemma one. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and we have finally decided to move in together. Congratulations. I'm really excited but also a tiny bit nervous at the same time. My boyfriend works as a night manager at a hotel. So he looks after the hotel and all the guests from

9 p.m. to 7 a.m. I'm really nervous about the fact from 9 p.m. to 7 a.m. I will be in the flat alone. Firstly, because I am scared of being burgled, but also because a lot of our quality time time in our quality time and our home is gone. When I discussed this with him, he didn't see my point of view and said, it's my job. Over and over again, I understand this, but it stressed

me out how defensive he was getting. Every time I bring it up, it turns into a massive argument, and he makes me rethink whether or not I should even move in with him. Any advice on the situation? I think it's his job, and ultimately, you can feel the way you want to feel, but like, if someone was trying to say to me, like, don't like your job, like, can you, I don't know, like, you're making.

Yeah, but it sounds like he's being a little bit too blunt about it, though. Like, obviously, you're not, fundamentally nothing's going to change, but like you might be a bit more understanding of like, I know, I understand what you're saying. but I love my job and I can't change it and I don't want to change it.

But just going against my job and I can't change it and I don't want to change it.

But just going, it's my job is a little bit like, I don't know, maybe a little bit too

Kurt would be.

I don't know if maybe they've had that nice conversation before and she's brought it up so many

times that it's now annoying him.

I could be wrong.

Toby could be onto something with how he was saying it, or it could be the delivery of it. It's like, you know, you could be saying it like that too, I'd get a reaction or you could just genuinely be like, I've told you and I tried to be sympathetic, but like I'm not changing my job. So I don't really know what you want me to do. I know you're concerned about it, but like, I can't change what I do. So either we don't live together or gone with it. But I don't understand your routine would have been the same. That's the thing. Either they've. If he's always had this job, then like, even where you were living before, like, it's still not going to be spending time with them 9 p.m. I get it though. That must be really disruptive having someone.

So difficult having like. Someone in the night shift. I don't get people and then you have to sleep in the day. That's so difficult. Well, listen, I think if I was going to just give you some advice quickly on how to sleep when he's not there because I get that's fucking terrifying because I have the same thing when Toby goes away on work.

So I love... If I was going to just give you some advice quickly on how to sleep when he's not there, because I get that's fucking terrifying because I have the same thing when Toby goes away on work.

So I love, well, obviously I double lock the door, which I never normally do.

Normally it's just like a single lock, triple.

Like I do the whole like clamping, the whole thing.

I set the alarm.

Yeah.

Which we set the alarm anyway.

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