130: Expectations: Resentments in the Making
Mint Arrow Messages
PodcastOne
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 2 August 2021
⏱️ 36 minutes
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Summary
Think back to the last time that you had something go TOTALLY differently than you had pictured it in your mind. What were your feelings when things went this way? Were you disappointed? Frustrated? Resentful? Today Neil and I are talking about expectations and why Neil says they’re “resentments in the making,” and what we try to do instead to offset these results and find more happiness in life.
Time Stamps:
[00:29] - Neil and I talk about expectations, resentments, and how our lives unfolded.
[03:05] - How can expectations turn into resentment?
[05:54] - I explain a saying that can help people to see when something is no longer for them.
[08:37] - Sometimes we hold ideas that never come into being. Other times, we need to discern if the idea is aligned with how we are being called.
[11:11] - Neil and I share our expectations of marriage versus what we know now.
[13:49] - Neil says he thought someone in a relationship would change his faults.
[15:34] - I share that I imagined being super unified as a couple, but I realized that we needed a bit of autonomy.
[17:04] - Neil and I share our different understandings of a famous image.
[19:29] - When we prioritize our individual spiritual health, we are able to show up for each other.
[21:24] - Life can be beautiful and blissful, but the reality is that those moments come and go.
[23:12] - Why is it so easy to have expectations of others?
[25:49] - I talk about removing selfishness to take away the expectations.
[27:22] - Neil shares a point about embracing acceptance in our life.
[28:51] - I reminisce on what I learned about having expectations of another person’s behavior, and being patient in understanding others.
[30:36] - Sometimes life is like a trust fall, like a test of our faith.
[32:31] - Here is the one expectation people CAN have.
Supporting Resources:
“Life is Like an Old Time Rail-Journey” Quote referenced in “A Conversation with Single Adults” Talk by Gordon B. Hinckley https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1997/03/a-conversation-with-single-adults?lang=eng
“Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book” https://amzn.to/3BOtMij
“But If Not” Talk by Dennis E. Simmons
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2004/04/but-if-not?lang=eng
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Think back to the last time that you had something go totally differently than you had pictured it in your mind. |
| 0:05.8 | What were your feelings when things went that way? |
| 0:08.1 | Were you disappointed, frustrated, resentful? |
| 0:11.1 | Today, Neil and I are talking about expectations and why Neil says they are resentments in the making. |
| 0:16.6 | And what we tried to do instead to offset these results and find more happiness in life. |
| 0:28.6 | What is it that you say about expectations? |
| 0:32.1 | That's not what I say. |
| 0:33.8 | I think it's what I've heard said. |
| 0:35.8 | It's always like some old timer drop something in a |
| 0:39.2 | 12-step meeting and then it's like, everyone else is credited for it. Nobody ever knows where |
| 0:43.9 | these things come from, but they sound really wise. And they, yeah, and I mean, I'm not going to |
| 0:48.4 | try and take credit for it, but it's expectations are resentments in the making or something |
| 0:53.4 | along those expectations are premeditated |
| 0:56.3 | resentments i mean there's a lot of different ways of saying it but basically yeah expectations |
| 1:04.1 | or resentment in making run into that yeah so this is something that i've been thinking about and it's for whatever reason it's been on my mind. And so you had some thoughts to start off when we kind of chatted about this before we started recording. Tell me about some of your expectations in life and what has gone the way you expected and what hasn't and all of that. I can't help but think of this old, this Saturday Night Live skit with Chris Farley, where he's, he's like this motivational speaker and he's like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And the kid's like, I want to be an actor, you know, and he's like, you're not going to amount to anything. Like, and it's really funny the way he does it. |
| 1:45.7 | But basically this idea that I think we have, or I have had so many expectations of what my life would look like. |
| 1:55.9 | I graduated high school and went on a mission. |
| 1:57.9 | It was, you know, great. |
| 1:58.8 | Learned a lot of amazing things. |
| 2:00.6 | I felt like I became a better person and. It was, you know, great. Learned a lot of amazing things. It felt like I |
| 2:01.0 | became a better person and kind of became, you know, an adult or a man, so to speak, and |
| 2:07.3 | came back and it's like, all right, let me set up my life. I've learned all these great |
... |
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