Welcome back to mood with Lorna Lisbeth. I'm Lorna Lisbeth and I guess the title of the podcast

is very fitting today because I'm in a mood. I mean we're always in a mood but I think mine is

very different from usual today. I really don't know how to start this and I really don't know what

I'm gonna say. But obviously it's obvious that I did not upload a podcast episode this one

day. I actually recorded a full episode and then decided not to upload it and it's really weird

to talk about because I never let other people's opinions get to me but I think for some reason

reading certain comments about the podcast got to me because they actually struck a chord

within myself and you know I jumped into the podcast really fast although I had been trying to make

it happen for over a year and I thought I had to do a certain thing and be a certain version

of myself that I had been able to be and I think the reason why the comments hurt me so much

is because A obviously I had never gotten comments like that because my characters never

come off as that. That's not who I am in any sense of the world, right? Like you can say X, Y,

and Z about me but I'm proud of those crazy or whatever parts about me because they are who I am.

But I was getting things that I've never gotten before because I've never made people feel that way

and I had already really been struggling for the past few months of who I am and what I want to

do with my platforms since I've been on the internet since 2011 and part of me felt like

the stick is up like it's time to be different, it's time to be who I am today and to change my

content accordingly and I started doing that a little bit on YouTube. I kind of talked openly

and honestly on YouTube and it was so natural and it was so easy for me and I truly thought I was

going to do the same thing at the beginning of this year on the podcast and when I picked up

the microphone it didn't work. It was like a platform that I wasn't comfortable being myself on

so I just went into a certain version that I thought was going to work and I think since I knew I

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