We are back, Theophiloi! After a bona fide Act of God, we've returned to read the capital-A Apocryphal Book of Tobit, and it is a wild one. Join us for the most canonical of the non-canonical books, in which we find out exactly why you shouldn't go to sleep under a wall, what fish parts you need if you do, and meet an ironically prudish demon and an angel who's cool but rude. Plus: What happens if we find a brand new book of the Bible, autographed by God?

Topics of discussion include: Janelle Monae, Tisha B'Av, the debatable sacrament of Cheddar Bay Biscuits, "The Sons of Thunder," the Dead Sea Scrolls, Antigone, the second ominous black sarcophagus, the lowercase grateful dead, Monster In The Bridal Chamber as a genre, Jack of the Tales and the sack that he used to capture Death, rough times in Ninevah, Asmodeus, Watership Down (or maybe Redwall?), the Seven Princes of Hell, Solomon and his demon bros, the Malleus Maleficarum aka the Witch Hammer (please note we only endorse the title, not the content), the Lantern of Light, the actual true amount of money for which Julius Caesar was ransomed because I know things sometimes too, Angel Disguises, a continuity patch for the book of Daniel, St. Raphael, Dubuque, Iowa, why angels are also saints, Tobias the Eighth, Tiffany and Chad, the first of many rules about angels, Hrotsvitha of Gandersheim.

Special thanks to Cathy Leamy for telling us about "Sons of Thunder!"

If you like the show, why not head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals to pitch in a few bucks? You don't have to tithe 10% of your income to us, but, I mean, we also wouldn't turn that down.