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Mormon Stories Podcast

1282: Kalin Orgill Organ - Losing and Finding One's Self in Search of Truth Pt. 1

Mormon Stories Podcast

Dr. John Dehlin

Religion & Spirituality

4.55.7K Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2020

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Periodically on Mormon Stories Podcast I try to interview “normal” or everyday Mormons about their faith journey – and in every case these “normal” Mormons turn out to be extraordinarily thoughtful and courageous. Today’s interview is no exception to this rule.

Today on Mormon Stories podcast I am interviewing Kalin Orgill Organ. Aside from Kalin being a super thoughtful and courageous human, Kalin’s story includes several important themes in modern Mormonism:

  • Kalin was raised in an orthodox Mormon home in California and in Highland, Utah – with seven siblings.
  • She was sexually abused as a child, which possibly awakened her to her own sexuality early than other children.
  • She began masturbating as a girl, before she even knew what the term meant.  This instigated a multi-year effort between herself, her parents, and her Mormon bishop to try to stop the behavior, and to become “worthy” in God’s eyes.
  • Kalin “lost her virginity” as a Mormon teen, which, along with her inability to stop masturbating, only made her feel less worthy.
  • Kalin had doubts/questions as a Mormon teen, and even listened briefly to Mormon Stories podcast PRIOR to serving her mission.  She fought hard to gain a testimony while on her mission.
  • Over time, three of Kalin’s siblings came out to her as LGBTQ, which multiplied her confusion and doubt.
  • After returning from a successful Mormon mission, Kalin married her husband Aaron in a Mormon temple, wherein they became to onlookers the “perfect Mormon couple.”
  • Over time, after a lifetime of struggling to feel worthy, Kalin’s doubts began to consume her, and she began to contemplate suicide as a Mormon wife and mother of two children.
  • Kalin is currently navigating a mixed-faith marriage, and remains an active non-literal believer in her Salt Lake City ward.

This is Kalin’s story – how she lost her orthodox Mormon faith, but found herself (and her own voice) in the process.

You will not be disappointed with this interview. I hope you will join us. And please spread the word if you can!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Thank you for joining us today on Mormon Stories Podcast. If you value this podcast and want to see it continue, please become a monthly supporter at MormonStories.org.

0:14.0

Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of Mormon Stories Podcast. I'm your host John DeLin. It is March 12, 2020.

0:22.0

The coronavirus is raging in the United States and that makes it a perfect time for us to have an amazing Mormon Stories Podcast interview from the comfort and the solitude of wherever you are right now, your car, your home or wherever.

0:42.0

My name is John DeLin and we are super excited for the podcast today and for our guest. Periodically on Mormon Stories what we try and do is just interview normal or average or everyday Mormons and have them tell their story.

1:04.0

And of course we've never had anyone be on Mormon Stories who didn't turn out to be super thoughtful and even heroic and I think today is going to be no exception.

1:20.0

Is everything okay? Okay. I think today is going to be no exception to that rule. Today we are interviewing Kaylyn Organ and today's interview with Kaylyn has so many important themes that I think are common for Mormons in the 21st century for Mormon women in the 21st century.

1:48.0

And for families I think there's so much to relate to.

1:52.0

Kaylyn's story includes being raised in a very Orthodox Mormon home first in California but then in Highland Utah going to Lone Peak High School which is significant in its own right.

2:05.0

There's six siblings, seven siblings, eight in the family total. We will be talking today about female sexuality, Mormon female teen sexuality including topics around you know a lot of chastity, masturbation, even as a church recall fornication or you know losing one's virginity in a sort of a teen Mormon setting.

2:33.0

Very vulnerable but really important themes to be talking about.

2:39.0

Kaylyn struggled with questions explored and even maybe had some doubts prior to her mission at a young age she may even listen to a Mormon Stories podcast episode or two before leaving on her mission but ultimately she did serve a mission for the church sort of in that wave of young female Mormon missionaries that came once they changed the age of the age.

3:02.0

And so forth but then after Kaylyn returned home over time she's had three of her seven siblings come out as LGBTQ which is pretty significant in a highland Utah Mormon family.

3:18.0

She's had to navigate her own questions and doubts around faith.

3:23.0

She is married and she is in a mixed faith marriage. She and her husband have children two children and and at present and this is a theme that we will be exploring more this year and into the future.

3:40.0

Kaylyn is choosing to remain active in the church as an you know unorthodox slash semi believer I don't know non-believer will have her describe her own belief status.

3:56.0

But but most importantly I've just found Kaylyn to be really thoughtful and wise and courageous.

4:04.0

There's also sort of I don't know if millennial is the right generation but kind of a millennial theme as well.

4:10.0

So so much important and interesting about today's interview so we're really glad you could join us.

4:17.0

And so without any further ado Kaylyn welcome to Mormon Stories podcast thank you honored to be here John.

4:25.0

So what's your maiden name or Gil or Gil and then I married an organ okay so it's Kaylyn or Gil organ.

4:35.0

Yep is that right yep okay and I know that you know you have a lovely relationship with your parents and your family many people who love and care about you.

4:46.0

Remain active and faithful and even orthodox in the church so I think it's really important to begin by by stating your intentions there's a there's a lot of misperceptions around more

...

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