Well, I've got to joke for you. What's that joke? We haven't started the podcast. Well, I think we have. I think that was the most poignant start to a podcast ever. Oh, yeah, but we usually start by saying what number it is. 1-2-2, you mean? Hello, and welcome to episode 1-22 of regular features. What's your joke, Steve? Well, my joke is what does, what's the ballerina need?

Legs. One, two, two. Ah. I think she needs legs. Your answer is good as well. She just needs

two-two. I think she needs legs. I've seen tutuos in shops and said there's a full ballerina.

Look at it, 12. Well, we've all learned something about ballet.

But what have you guys learned about the spirit of Christmas?

Because obviously we've just got back from Christmas, haven't we?

We went to different ones.

And even though when we're recording this,

just after the Christmas, we'll come out a bit later.

So by that point, everyone will be all like...

Christmas, that was so last year, you guys.

And everyone will already have all of their news restrictions.

I'm already shopping for Christmas 2015.

And beyond.

Everyone's getting Thorntons this year.

Let me tell you I'm not fawning for the same trick of last year.

It's actually putting thought into my presents.

Fuck thought. Fuck presents. I didn't get many presents as year for anyone. But I got given lots of presents and I felt quite awkward about it because I didn't know what to do. I spent Christmas the first time in somebody else's house. I found that a bit weird because it's like how do you, what's the way that you sort of quietly say it's 11 in the morning Can I have a drink? Can I let the camp and we start drinking now please? Yeah. Luckily that just sort of happened. That's what I think. You know, usually... Just keep saying books, if someone goes out and gets you on. Bucksfiz? Yeah, that'd be lovely. No, I'm not... No, it's for you to do that. No, I, somebody passed me a beer eventually, but usually I start drinking about half-10 the morning. Eventually, after how long I'm going, beer? Give me a drink, anyone? Can I go in the fridge? Somebody actually gave me a really simple, obvious tip that's really good. Just saying, oh, can I get anyone a drink? And then someone goes, oh, yeah, I might have a little. And then you just make yourself an impossibly strong gin and tonic or something. And then just sip it very slowly. And then everyone else has had their early morning kind of tipple, whereas you're getting steamed, full speed ahead. Because it looks like lemonade to the uneducated observer. You just got to make sure no one else has your drink. Otherwise, I mean, you're basically, you could end up being actually housed as an alcoholic on Christmas Day. Might be a bit. It's always embarrassing. Bleak, really. You're like, I'm not an alcoholic, it's just Christmas, all right? This is how we do it where I come from.

You'd be only outed as an alcoholic if you actually said,

look, I can light my bum hair like a Christmas pudding.

And then you'd be covering your bum in brandy?

Yeah, put brandy on my bum.

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