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And one of the things we've not covered that is such a critical part of communication,

and maybe more important even what you say, is your ability to listen to people.

It's a huge part of communication.

You know, I've taught you before that people don't respond to what they hear or see,

they respond to how they feel when they interact with you. And one of the best ways to make somebody feel good is that they feel listened to and that they feel heard. And it's one of the skills that I struggle with the most, which is why I'm so excited to cover this with you today because quite frankly it's something that I've struggled with myself is my ability to just be present and to listen to people. And so like many of the shows, I'm excited to teach these things to you for your own benefit, but it also helps me in owning this material. And frankly, anything you teach to people, you end up owning more yourself. And so very, very excited to cover this with you here today. And like I said, it's not something I've been very good at my entire life as being a great listener. So I want to get right into it. And what caused me to do the show today is really two things. I had someone join me on my jet a few weeks ago on a pretty long flight and there was a group of people but one particular guy who's an entrepreneur and I won't say who he is. But he spent a three hour flight with me on my jet. So he spent about three hours with me about a foot and a half from me. And for three straight hours, he did not ask me one question about myself. He did not listen to one thing I had to say, didn't ask me for any advice, and he talked about himself for three hours. This is somebody prior to that flight that I really liked. I was struck and so were other people in the flight than when they landed and I don't mean that I'm a big deal or anything like that, but they were shocked why a rising entrepreneur wouldn't take advantage of the time of being with me to ask me questions. I think most of you, if we spent three hours together, you'd probably want to ask me a question or two. And he did not ask me one single question and he

talked about himself and his life and his background and what he had achieved and what he

was going to achieve and what he was good at and all those things and it was probably

true but I found myself when the flight was over quite honestly not liking him

quite as much as I did before the flight because people don't like to hear about you

all the time. People want to feel heard. They want to feel listened to. And he didn't do any

of that the entire flight. Plus the fact, he didn't learn anything that flight. So remember

this. I know there's the old adage that you have two eyes and two ears and one mouth for a reason

and you ought to use them in that ratio,

but really you should even use the, you should use your mouth even less. And so the two things happened on that flight. One, he didn't get anything out of it. He didn't learn anything. And two, it made the people around him, quite frankly, not care for him to the extent they could have, because he's a really good guy, but he just talked the entire time. And I don't think he did it out of ego. I think he did it because he was nervous. And so that's one thing I want you to

check in the very

beginning when you get nervous I do when you get nervous do you begin to talk more

...