I can't believe an educated person would think like this.

I'm Angela Duckworth.

I'm Stephen Dubner.

And you're listening to no stupid questions.

Today on the show is holding a grudge really worth it.

Come on in, the grudge water is fine.

Angela, we have a question today.

What's short and sweet from one Bobby Fortinelli?

He writes to say, my wife holds grudges indefinitely, although thankfully none against me.

Why do some people hold grudges and not others?

How does one let go of grudges?

PS, Bobby writes, I'm sending in this question with my wife's blessing.

That's a preemptive don't hold a grudge against me for asking Angie and Stephen about grudges.

So, Angela, why do some people hold grudges and not others?

Is that knowable?

There is a research literature on grudges.

I don't know why some people are grudge holders other than to speculate.

They're given this is about ruminating and given that a lot of people involuntarily hold

on to grudges.

Despite themselves, my guess is that people who are worse at emotion regulation and lower

in emotional stability are probably more likely to be grudge holders.

I think roughly speaking, a grudge is the opposite of forgiveness, right?

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