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Episode One

115 - The Class Act

Episode One

Episode One

Comedy

4.8881 Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2020

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Atorva Staton (@necrobranson) and Gerald Geranium (@intellegint) welcome Dr. Argyle Brownsnake (@charliewinsmore) to discuss the golden age of sports and the greatest generation of people who love the athletes of the golden age. Topics include cheerleaders and the most ancient American sports: football, baseball, hockey, and basketball.

Transcript

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0:00.0

The following is an archive podcast presented by the Branson and Hudson Foundation for Podcast Recovery.

0:05.8

This podcast is entitled The Class Act. It is the first and only episode of the podcast. Welcome to

0:12.6

episode one. An old black and white photograph, the gridiron in winter. The men are ready to fight. It is football and you play to

0:25.1

win. You play for pride and that's it. Loser goes home with a bloody nose. It's 1921 and every

0:34.0

single man in the world is five feet two inches tall, a level playing field. Your defensive

0:39.5

tackle weighs a buck 70 sopping wet and he's wearing a big leather diaper on his head to protect

0:45.7

the one brain cell he has that hasn't been destroyed by leaded gasoline. A college gym in a

0:52.3

sepia photograph.

0:59.1

Men with bird chest labor to toss a leather-basketed ball into a peach basket.

1:04.1

The game is new and fresh, untainted by baggy clothes and layups.

1:09.6

If anyone even thinks to touch the rim, they are shot on sight.

1:14.6

Everyone is just afraid of two things. Losing the ball game and polio. The final score, zero to zero. Another barn burner filled with accurate chess passes

1:22.2

and the thinnest little basketball shorts you've ever seen in your life like satin but somehow not a black and white

1:34.8

drawing of a baseball game taking place everyone is arguing about who invented baseball so they know who to get

1:40.9

mad at 18 men in their pajamas stand around and figure out the healthiest way to put the

1:46.9

max amount of tobacco into their bodies.

1:50.0

Everyone has gloves that are just made out of dead armadillos.

1:53.7

It's a brief respite from the cold realities of the time, the Civil War.

1:58.1

After the game, both teams go back to their respective armies and die from dysentery the next day.

2:04.5

Welcome to the Class Act, the golden age of sports and the greatest generation of people who love the athletes of the golden age and therefore beyond.

2:14.8

This radio show is to bring you back to the good old days, back when men were men

2:18.5

and everyone was an alcoholic. And the fastest guy in the world could just be a fat guy and no one

...

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