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Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

#115: No Trophy for You

Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

All Things Comedy

Politics, News, Comedy

4.7680 Ratings

🗓️ 21 August 2015

⏱️ 24 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

1- Sex Sex Sex 2- Jared pays for trying to pay 3- Marriage is Sacred meet my wife Ashley Madison 4- Viagra for women? I'll faint 5- El Nino is coming 6- No Trophy for You 7- I wanna be in the NBA

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, this is Alonzo Bowden, and I want to welcome you to episode 115 in my podcast,

0:16.2

Who's Paying Attention?

0:17.6

Hmm, what should we talk about this week?

0:20.5

Oh, I know. Let's talk about sex. There's a lot going on.

0:25.6

So, as you probably have heard by now, Jared Fogel, you know Jared from the subway ads.

0:35.1

Apparently, well, sandwiches aren't the only things Jared likes small.

0:40.6

Jared's not only getting smaller, he's going smaller.

0:43.9

Jared's about to be offered a six inch and a foot long.

0:47.8

And there's a bunch of other bad jokes going on.

0:50.6

But I'm laughing at the bad jokes, not at what Jared did.

0:54.1

Jared is now confessed to

0:57.8

soliciting sex with minors, and he's found to have child porn on his computer, and Jared's in

1:07.3

trouble. Jared's plan is to plead guilty, and from what I read he will get no less than five years no more than 12 years in jail and he has to

1:17.6

register as a sex offender which after the jail term I think that's kind of a minor penalty

1:25.9

minor additional penalty I should say his wife is divorcing him. And here's the part

1:31.1

that is, is it just me or is this strangely ironic? He has to pay $1.4 million to the 14 underage

1:42.4

victims. So the victims of his sex soliciting, and they haven't said whether he actually had sex with them or what, he's only admitting to one count of soliciting, one count of child porn, that's the plea deal.

1:55.4

But he has to pay them $100,000 each.

1:59.2

Is that, is it me again? Or is it strange that you're paying $100,000 each. Is that, is it me again?

2:01.6

Or is it strange that you're paying $100,000 each to kids who were, I guess,

2:09.7

underage at the time, maybe still are, maybe aren't, you know, they're going to protect their identities.

2:14.0

But you're going to jail for offering to pay them for sex, and the penalty is you

...

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