115: Great Expectations

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 October 2017

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When expectations in your relationship don’t meet reality, disappointment is bound to happen. Whether you find yourself struggling with too high or too low expectations, finding the balance is key to being happier and more satisfied in your relationship. Listen to today’s show with Dr. Sarah Vannier to learn how to manage expectations and avoid disappointment in your relationship. In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: How creating false romantic expectations can hurt your relationship. Finding a balance in your relationship expectations so they aren't too high or too low. Examining your expectations to determine which are the most realistic. Learn if you have a growth romantic belief system or a destiny romantic belief system and how this will affect your relationships. How to keep intimacy for couples who are new parents. And much more! Dr. Sarah Vannier is a Postdoctoral Fellow working at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Her research tends to focus on the ways that we think about our sexual and romantic relationships and she recently published two papers looking at the link between violated romantic expectations (e.g., love at first sight, destiny) and relationship outcomes in young adults dating relationships. Right now Sarah is doing research looking at the ways to help new parents cope with the sexual and relationship challenges that come with early parenthood. Do you want to hear more on this topic? Do you struggle with disappointment in your relationship from too high or too low expectations? Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Full Show Notes at http://idopodcast.com/115 Sponsors Talkspace: The online therapy company that believes that therapy should be affordable, confidential and convenient. Join over 500,000 people who have used Talkspace for online therapy with their licensed therapist. Get $30 off your first month when you visit Talkspace.com/IDO. FindYourTrainer.com: Today’s show is sponsored by FindYourTrainer.com, America’s largest personal trainer network that matches you with your perfect personal trainer. Train anywhere, anytime. Get $50 off your first session when you visit FindYourTrainer.com/IDO with Promo Code: IDo If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! - Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	And Take me to the place in the middle of the sun.
0:17.0	Take me to the place in the middle of the sun. What's going on, what's going on,
0:25.0	what's going on, guys, what's going on,
0:28.0	what's going on, guys.
0:30.0	Thank you for joining us today in the Podcastosphir. Is that what they call it?
0:37.0	Podcastosphir?
0:38.0	Yeah, we'll go with that.
0:41.0	All right. Today we have Dr. Sarah Vanier and Dr Sarah is a postdoctoral fellow working at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
0:53.0	That sounds cold.
0:55.0	I didn't know she was up there in Nova Scotia.
0:58.0	And her research tends to focus on the ways that we think about our sexual and romantic relationships.
1:04.6	And today we talk a little bit about her research in expectations and how expectations
1:11.2	going into a relationship can affect the relationship in good and bad ways.
1:17.0	And I tend to think of expectations as a bad thing if they're too high because a lot of times my expectations are too high and then things don't turn out exactly how I expected and I'm disappointed but I think that's more of a control issue that I'm not controlling it but it's a really important part of current relationships or if you're single looking for one.
1:43.0	And we talk a little bit about growth versus destiny mindset.
1:47.0	Well, I found it super fascinating because, you know,
1:50.0	Sarah was going over the two different growth and destiny mindset so growth being
1:57.2	that you will fall more in love with each other as you as you grow as you're in the relationship and destiny is more you feel that it needs to be
2:06.4	love at first sight and passion and sparks immediately and and you want to keep that
2:11.6	throughout the whole relationship and we know sometimes that
2:15.2	doesn't happen. So we I think went into our relationship a little bit different.
2:21.8	You coming in as more of a destiny and me is more of a
	...

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