104. The Dead Bedroom Fix: A Conversation with “Dad Starting Over”
The Suzanne Venker Show
Suzanne Venker
4.9 • 650 Ratings
🗓️ 11 July 2021
⏱️ 61 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
DSO is the pen name for Ralph, the founder of dadstartingover.com, host of the Dad Starting Over Podcast, and author of three books including his popular title, “The Dead Bedroom Fix”. The Dad Starting Over website is a resource for men that are “starting over” in life after divorce, after enduring a wife’s affair… or for those men who are still married and want to hit the reset button on their relationship, find their place in life, and finally do things the “right” way.
In 2020, Ralph started the DSO Fraternity, which is the members-only portion of dadstartingover.com. Members get access to Fraternity articles, podcasts, all of the DSO books, members-only discussion forums and live member meetings that take place three to four times per week. All of the member meetings are archived and available to listen via your podcast app. DSO Fraternity members also get big discounts on one-on-one coaching with any of the five DSO coaches.
Listeners of the Suzanne Venker show can go to dadstartingover.com/venker and you will get your first month of DSO Fraternity membership for $1. Try it out to see if it is right for you. Cancel at any time. Sorry ladies, the group is for men only.
Ralph has three children from his first marriage and a new one on the way soon with his second wife, Nathalie.
IN THIS EPISODE:
7:00 Men needs are simpler than women's
9:00 Women are great at validation at the beginning of their relationships
10:00 Many woman stop having sex with their husbands, especially once children come along
11:15 Women also complain of lack of sex. Men's porn habits and loss of testosterone contribute to this
12:00 Women need to continue to work on their appearance, be more agreeable, and nag less
17:00 Men need a helping hand when it comes to figuring out how to get their relationships back on track
17:35 DSO tells his story of his first marriage and his ex-wife's extra-marital affair
22:00 Suzanne reads from DSO’s book: "The Dead Bedroom Fix": Why your wife isn’t attracted to you
23:00 Why is the fault of the “dead bedroom” on the man?
24:25 Someone has to the lead in the romance department
28:50 What DOESN'T work when it comes to fixing a dead bedroom
30:00 Men and women both need to revert to what they did when they were dating
33:00 Why being “ nice” doesn’t get a man sex
34:40 Men have to both be a lover and provider
35:00 Many marriages have been flat-out ruined by kids
35:45 What makes a man HOT to a woman?
37:50 Don’t shame a woman for not “feeling it” in the moment
39:40 What men can do to fix a dead bedroom
- Be her lover
- Go to the gym & care about your appearance
- Go away - you need to get the hell away from each other!
- Be unique: What's your mission outside of being a dad or husband?
- You MUST lead and set the tone in the relationship as far as romance and sexuality
- Get your wife away from the kids
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This will surprise no one who listens to this show, but America is single. |
| 0:06.0 | It's divorced, undercommitted, and hopelessly out of touch with how to build a relationship that lasts. |
| 0:12.2 | Women in particular are groomed for a life centered on career and on being fiercely independent, |
| 0:17.7 | as though marriage and family were a nice idea or a possible accompaniment to an otherwise |
| 0:22.5 | satisfying life. But if Flying Solo is so great, why are online dating sites a billion-dollar industry |
| 0:31.2 | replete with clients looking to get hitched? In my new book, How to Get Hitched and Stay Hitched, which is available now for pre-order, |
| 0:41.0 | women get a much-needed detox from the cultural narratives they've absorbed about men, sex, love, |
| 0:46.7 | marriage, work, and family. |
| 0:49.9 | Modern women don't need any more help in the professional sphere. |
| 0:53.4 | They have that in spades. |
| 0:55.5 | What they don't have is guidance in love and life. |
| 1:00.0 | How to get hitched is not about finding a husband per se, but about how to map out a life that |
| 1:04.5 | works in every sphere, including marriage and children. |
| 1:08.3 | It offers women a new roadmap with specific countercultural |
| 1:12.0 | guidelines that will help them be successful in this domain. How to get hitched is the |
| 1:16.8 | antidote women need to reject the lies they've been fed by our culture. It's about what you really |
| 1:21.6 | want versus what you've been told you should want and about what is true of men in marriage |
| 1:25.7 | versus what you've been told is true. |
| 1:33.5 | Get ready. This book will rock your world. Just go to how to get hitched.net and you'll find all the information you need there. Again, that's how to get hitched.net. And now on with the show. |
| 1:55.4 | Okay. with the show. From the magnificent Midwest, it's the Suzanne Venker Show, where men and women are equal |
| 1:59.3 | in value, but wildly different by nature. |
| 2:01.7 | Join us here every week when we challenge the culture's hugely flawed narratives about men, women, sex, and love. |
... |
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