1022: How–and Why–to Stop Overapologizing with Shira Miller

How to Be Awesome at Your Job

How to be Awesome at Your Job

Success, Career, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Sharpening, Business, Education, Selfhelp, Collaboration, Winning, Meaning, Development, Mockaitis, Skills, Training, Mental Health, Speaking, Decisions, Careers, Interview, Fun, Money, Writing, Thinking, Wins

4.6 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 9 January 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Shira Miller reveals the harmful effects of overapologizing—and shares powerful advice for owning your greatness.

— YOU’LL LEARN —

1) How overapologizing hurts you personally and professionally

2) Five steps to stop unnecessary apologies

3) How to tame your inner saboteur

Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1022 for clickable versions of the links below.

— ABOUT SHIRA —

Shira Miller is an award-winning keynote speaker, Certified Executive Coach, author of Free and Clear: Get Unstuck and Live the Life You Want and works as the Chief Communications Officer of National DCP, the $3 billion supply chain company serving Dunkin’ franchisees. The two-time TEDx speaker, who delivered a talk called Stop the Apology Speak, has helped thousands of leaders instill optimism and purpose at work, stop making unnecessary apologies, eliminate self-sabotage and own their greatness.

• LinkedIn: Shira Miller

• Website: ShiraMiller.com

• TEDx Talk: Stop the Apology Speak

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW —

• Study: “When and Why Women Apologize More than Men” by Karina Schumann

• Study: “Mind the Gap” by KPMG

• Researcher: Maja Jovanovic

• Book: Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness

• Past episode: 366: Mastering Conversations through Compassionate Curiosity with Kwame Christian

• Past episode: 500: Building Unshakeable Self-Esteem and Confidence with Victor Cheng

• Past episode: 699: Redefining Success for More Fulfilling Days with Brad Stulberg

— THANK YOU SPONSORS! —

• Acorns. Start saving and investing for your future today with Acorns.com/awesome

• Earth Breeze. Get 40% off your subscription at earthbreeze.com/AWESOME

• Lingoda. Get a 10% discount and up to 45 free classes with the code AWESOME2025 or https://try.lingoda.com/awesome2025

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	When someone starts with Apology Speak, they don't feel solid in their position.
0:12.9	There is some sort of weakness. They don't feel confident. That's what it's saying.
0:17.0	Even if they are the most brilliant person in the room, because of their language, they're not coming across that way. Go into one situation that you normally triggers over
0:25.4	apologizing, and don't do it. And see what happens. See what happens in the room with everybody
0:30.8	else and see how you feel about yourself. It's going to be a big confidence boost.
0:40.8	That she remembered. It's going to be a big confidence boost. That's Sheira Miller.
0:42.1	She's an award-winning keynote speaker, executive coach and author.
0:44.7	She's also a two-time TEDx speaker where she delivered the talk,
0:47.5	Stop the Apology Speak, which has helped leaders eliminate self-sabotage and own their
0:51.8	greatness.
0:52.2	So you'll learn, one, how over-apologizing hurts you personally and professionally.
0:56.8	Two, five steps to stop unnecessary apologies.
1:00.6	And three, how to tame your inner saboteur.
1:03.3	And if you want to get a quick summary recap of these points,
1:06.3	I'd recommend be decided for the free gold nugget email newsletter at awesomeatyourjob.com
1:10.5	where you can
1:11.3	catch these tidbits from Shira as well as unlocking the whole archive of 1,022 of these summaries.
1:18.9	I'm Pete McItis. This is How to Be Awesome at Your Job. And now, here's Shira.
1:26.1	Shira, welcome. Hi, Pete. Glad to be here. I'm glad to be chatting with you. We're talking
1:31.3	apologies and I'm excited to dig deep into this notion of apology speak. Could you kick us off by
1:39.2	sharing your own apology story? Oh boy, do I have one. I spent the first 40 years of my life in a constant
1:46.3	state of apology. I'm talking about apologizing when I won speaking trophies and for when I would
	...

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