102: Napalm Toots (The Lives of St. Martha of Bethany and St. Margaret of Antioch)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 13 June 2022

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Book of Job is famously one of history's biggest bummers, Theophiloi, so in this episode, we're going with something that always brings us joy: women fighting dragons. It's Martha of Bethany and Margaret of Antioch, two blessed saints with adventures worthy of the airbrushed side of a custom van!

Topics of Discussion: A review of a bad review, a review of Chris's mom, Martha Wayne's pearls, the Stone Cold Stunner, the Tarasque (CR 30).

Hymnal: "Through the Fire and Flames" by DragonForce, "SOS" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45)

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17

Note: Chris's audio is choppy in some spots due to a recording problem, it is not the fault of editorial Deacon Lucas Brown.

Transcript

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0:00.0	At that time, in the forest along the room between Arles and Avignon, there was a dragon
0:06.6	that was half animal and half fish, larger than an ox, longer than a horse, with teeth as sharp
0:12.6	as horns and a pair of bucklers on either side of his body. The beast lurked in the river,
0:17.0	killing all those who tried to sail by, and sinking their vessels. The dragon had come from Galatia and Asia, begotten of Leviathan, an extremely ferocious water serpent,
0:25.4	and Onakis, an animal bred in the region of Galasia, which shoots its dung-like darts at pursuers within the space of an acre.
0:32.0	Whatever this touches is burned up by fire.
0:34.7	The golden legend.
0:35.9	The life of St. Martha.
0:37.3	Far away, we wait, the life of St. Martha. Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocryphals.
0:57.2	This is the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible and we try not to be jerks
1:00.7	about it.
1:01.7	My name is Chris Sims.
1:02.7	With me as always, the other set of footprints, the other half of your humble sons of thunder.
1:06.8	Benito Serrano.
1:07.8	Benito, how are you?
1:08.8	I'm good, Chris. How are things?
1:11.6	Unexpectedly busy.
1:12.6	Yeah, I know.
1:14.6	You can say it if you want.
1:16.6	No, I don't know.
1:17.6	People know.
1:18.6	It's just like constantly running in the background.
	...

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