1001 Funny Planets Mission 2 [Patreon Preview]

Episode One

Comedy

4.8 • 858 Ratings

🗓️ 2 August 2025

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The crew prepares for a vacation to the Roller Coaster Pope's theme park planet, but things don't go as planned… Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/1001-funny-2-war-135568588

Transcript

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0:00.0	You guys need to get to Neorn 5 immediately.
0:25.8	Admiral. You need to make first contact with... Okay? Does this planet have roller coasters? It doesn't have any roller coasters, Captain. Okay, we're not interested. Admiral, Admiral. It's not really your call. Yeah, it's not really your call. Admiral. Captain Weiser, bud, here. We hear you loud and clear. We understand this is a problem and we will get to it as soon as we are done with the roller coaster temple.
0:26.8	Now, these people have been at war for three months.
0:29.2	We've already called the roller coaster pope.
0:32.9	We told them you wouldn't become.
0:34.5	There's just a lot of roller coasters for maintenance.
0:38.3	We love to surprise him.
0:40.3	I've been.
0:41.2	They're doing maintenance on it right now.
0:43.2	They won't even get them up again.
0:44.8	We already canceled it.
0:46.8	So were the five of us going to be the only ones on the roller coaster planet?
0:51.1	Well, yeah, it was a goodwill mission.
0:53.1	Oh, my God.
0:54.0	You guys are going to have it all to yourself, all the rides and stuff like that. your planet? Well, yeah, it was a goodwill mission. Really, we wanted to impress the,
0:54.6	you guys are going to have it all to yourself, all the rides and stuff like that. Can we? No, no, this is like the main thing in our like galactic code. You said they've already been at war for three months. What's another day of war? This is like the main thing that can't fucking happen, right? is because we fucked up and now they got a golden man.
0:53.2	We didn't fuck up.
0:54.0	The damage is already done.
0:54.8	It's not like it's a genocide, Admiral. The roller, I can, you know, the roller coaster pope has already been told. He pulled the big lever. All the roller coasters stop. Then all of the little clones of the bald guys are going out there to fix them. It's going to be at least 36 hours before he runs it. You guys just simply aren't going to make it.
1:32.1	Due to my calculations, the roller coaster planet is of our highest priority, Captain.
1:37.4	I'm seeing right here, getting a new communication in here. Nuclear bomb has blown up the roller coaster planet.
1:47.1	It says a hundred nuclear.
	...

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