The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Okay.

So some kids are more naturally compliant.

So for those of you have kids who are more naturally compliant, this episode might seem either

obvious or unnecessary because you don't need to increase listening and cooperation. You have a

compliant kid who's a people pleaser. And actually for kids who are people pleasers, I want you to

find those moments when they're not being people pleasers and

savor them and help them see that they can live through that experience of not pleasing.

Because if you are a people pleaser or you do bend in the kind of performative perfectionism,

you probably needed someone who would give you more permission to blow it.

But for those of you whose kids are less compliant,

those kids usually thrive when they have agency,

when they are not feeling like someone's trying to control them. That tends to give space for more cooperation. So my first tip on ways to

increase listening and cooperation is to reflect on what kind of kid you have so that you know what they

need and also what really matters to you because if you don't decide what matters to you

and so you're sending off, you know, direct command after direct command or not just directives, but

requests, it just becomes noise.

So you really want to give the opportunity for your kids to know what matters, what they

really actually need to listen to.

And that way, you're not spending this uphill battle

with things that don't matter. When I think of like what really matters to me in terms of

listening and cooperation, I ask myself, does it align with my values? Like, is it the kind of thing

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