This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues

common in today's world and what to do about them.

I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for

your own self-work.

Hi and welcome to self-work.

I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. I'm a clinical psychologist out of

Fayetteville, Arkansas. I've been practicing for about 25 years now. And I started

self-work last year because I wanted to extend the walls of my practice,

not only to people who were already in therapy or were considering therapy,

but who might never darken the door of a therapist office, but we're just curious enough to wonder

what somebody like me would have to say about the different emotions and psychological experiences

through life that we all have. I've done a lot of relationship work, a lot

of marital counseling and today's podcast is taken from my work with couples. I have listened to a lot of people argue and

bicker and fight in my years of doing therapy and I'm going to share with you the one

question that if you mentally ask yourself before you personally. Personalization of the other person's behavior is a huge problem with couples.

We all do it to a certain extent, but you can get a lot better.

For example, how many times have you said, if he really cared about me, dot dot, dot, or if she realized how tired I am, she wouldn't, again, X, Y, or Z.

So we're going to talk about how to look at things differently and I'll show you how to practice because it does take practice

The email from a listener today which is a feature we do every week is a question about perfectly hidden depression

and those feelings getting harder to manage at night. If you don't know my work on

perfectly hidden depression, those episodes are scattered throughout the now 72

...