05 Claudius

Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

Rob and Jamie

History, Comedy

4.9 • 742 Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2016

⏱️ 85 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Claudius! Who is this man? Is he the village idiot? An acting mastermind? A clever leader? A man struggling with disability? A man ruled by his wives and freedman? A sadistic madman? It is hard to be sure. All we do know, is that he fought a Killer Whale and won. (Oh, and had a pet rock).

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Totalis Rankium. This week, Claudius.
0:10.0	This week, Claudius. Hello and welcome to Totales Rankium episode number five.
0:27.6	Yes, going from Augustus to Augustus and we are now on number four and Jamie in this week has got a poster with all the Roman emphos on.
0:36.6	Yes. And it's scary. scary it is it's quite intimidating
0:40.4	there's a lot of them yeah we're still near the start
0:43.1	yeah but that's exciting as well I like it right okay
0:46.8	we left on a cliffhangle last week we did I so yeah I've been no idea
0:52.3	who's coming up I genuinely don't but I well, I have an idea, but I'm not sure. Just record the intro. Yeah, and I have got the poster with him on as well. Yeah, and at the top of my notes here, quite clearly says, Claudius, is that a surprise to you? Oh, it's Claudius. Right, well, we left on a cliffhanger. Yes. So let's do it previously on Totalix Rankium. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. If you remember, the Claudius was behind his curtain. Yes. Collegular was dead. Yes. Footsteps. And it was the Praetorian Guard. They'd bloodied swords. Then we cut.
1:29.3	Yes. Savagely. Yeah. We start again. But much to your surprise, we're not starting with Claudius.
1:36.4	What? Yeah. See, imagine this is a TV show. Oh. And we open up, there's a woman on a beach in the Mediterranean.
2:19.3	Ooh. You don't know who she is. No. I have a lot of imagery in my head, though. Yeah, yeah. So imagine the waves and the sea. That's not what I'm imagining, but okay. A solitary tear rolling down her cheek. So she's feeling sad? She's feeling sad. She's on an island all on her own. She's thinking about her young child called Lucius and how his life, it's not going to be what she hoped it to be. Oh, Jamie's turning back to his family tree. Can he see Lucius? No, he can't. Because I've not mentioned him before. Then we finally cut back to Claudius behind the curtain. The curtain is pulled to the side. Claudius gasps and his eyes widened.
2:22.3	He waits for the end. But then he hears a voice saying,
2:27.3	Emperor Claudius, we have come to save you.
2:30.3	And that's when the credits roll and then it's and then it's and then we'll actually start.
2:34.8	Yeah.
2:35.2	And then next week a little montage of a few bits and pieces that'll be quite ambiguous.
2:38.8	So you're probably wondering who the woman is, aren't you?
2:40.7	Uh, Lucia's mum?
2:42.2	Lucius's mum?
2:43.2	Yeah.
2:43.7	Ah, so I know.
2:44.7	Yeah, so yeah.
	...

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