#048: Handcuffing The Teddy Bear

The Shallow End

John Elliott and Lindsay Schnebly

Society & Culture, Comedy, History

4.9 • 612 Ratings

🗓️ 26 April 2023

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

First, we'll be discussing the story of the worst, most incompetent thief you've never heard of. This thief's criminal exploits are so laughably inept that you won't believe they were even attempted, let alone carried out. We delve into the mind of this hapless criminal and examine his botched attempts at stealing. But that's not all - we also bring you the bizarre tale of a man who came up with a truly unique way to try to avoid arrest. This man's unconventional strategy may seem outrageous, but it actually worked - for about 30 seconds. It doesn't end well. It never does in The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	It began long ago, two young boys in an American town riding their bikes to school and Little League practice.
0:09.0	Over the years, the boys became fast friends, united in their love for stories where things would go horribly wrong.
0:18.0	Pour yourself a strong beverage and buckle up. You're in the shallow end with
0:23.6	Schnebley and Toff. So welcome to episode 48 of the shallow end. I was actually, I'm just minutes
0:30.2	back from a hike, J.G. And I was, I was listening to the latest episode of Box. And I had been
0:36.5	feeling really good about the shallow end because, as you know, we, we topped the half million download mark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a milestone. And I was really, really, really proud. It was like, wow, this thing has grown so fast compared to how I thought it was going to grow and it's entirely because of the
0:59.1	listeners the subscribers and the love that they have that they have shown and and we
1:04.9	have I think done a pretty good job of telling people how grateful we are so I'm
1:08.6	pretty you know not puffed up not arrogant but like damn this is really cool this is are. So I'm pretty, you know, not puffed up, not arrogant, but like,
1:12.0	damn, this is really cool. This is working well. And I'm maybe half a mile into my four
1:16.8	mile hike. And then you say to Kat on Box, so we just top 25 million downloads. And I'm like,
1:24.5	damn it, we suck. Yeah, sit down, junior.
1:34.7	Go take your little half a million download. Look at my 25 million. Let's stack these two up against each other. See, I'm the Empire State Building. You're a single-story roof. But a very nice
1:40.7	single-story roof with a strong foundation so these things these things
1:44.5	take time they do so I just wanted to say congratulations on on 25 million that's
1:50.6	that's I am very proud to have been in on the ground floor of Box and from
1:58.4	episode one from episode one and I've listened to every single episode I've not
2:04.4	missed a single one that's I think the definition of insanity Lindsay you're I think you're
2:11.3	right I'm gonna cop to that one that's for sure I was out at lunch with Kat um day before yesterday we were in
2:21.0	west Palm Beach and um visiting some friends down there well new friends we talked about this
2:26.9	on box the hosts of and that's why we drink podcast Christine and m yep and before we met up with them, we went to lunch by ourselves, Kat and I, and I'm sitting
2:40.0	there and we're talking about the podcast and somebody overheard us and they said, oh, you
	...

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